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McCulloch Satisfied That Twitter User Boasting Insider Knowledge of Grand Jury was "Hacked"

Categories: Ferguson

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The tweet that started an investigation by the St. Louis County prosecutor's office (background via Google Street View)

The tweet appeared on Wednesday, October 1.

"I know someone sitting on the grand jury in this case," it read. "There isn't enough at this point to warrant an arrest #Ferguson."

Although it was deleted within moments, eagle-eyed activists quickly screen-grabbed it and began asking why a member of the grand jury in the Michael Brown shooting was blabbing about the closed court proceedings to a friend, who was then unwisely sharing the insights on Twitter. When St. Louis Prosecutor Bob McCulloch's office contacted the woman -- according to her profile, her name is Susan M. Nichols -- she claimed her account was "hacked."

Late yesterday, McCulloch released the results of his inquiry and agreed that she had indeed been hacked. However, it turns out that it's not at all clear where the tweet came from, and McCulloch's conclusions rest mainly on Nichols' word.

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11 Horror-able Jokes For Halloween Trick-Or-Treaters

Categories: Holidays

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Lobo235 via Flickr
Tell a Halloween joke that will make 'em die laughing.
It's finally Halloween. Do you know what that means? Joke time!

St. Louis tradition dictates that trick-or-treaters offer a joke or riddle before getting their candy. Only St. Louis and Des Moines, Iowa, make jokes a big part of the year's spookiest holiday, which is all the more reason to prepare with a few quality zingers. After all, trick-or-treaters without jokes are at risk of getting pencils for Halloween instead of candy. Pencils. The horror!

As is our annual Riverfront Times tradition, we've compiled a list of some of our favorites. They're a scream!

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Missouri Supreme Court Disbars Attorney Tied to Chuck Norman Estate, Real Estate Scam

Categories: News

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Image: 3D Judges Gavel by Chris Potter (2012) / StockMonkeys.com / CC BY 2.0

The Missouri Supreme Court on Tuesday disbarred Lisa Krempasky, an attorney caught up in a massive real estate scam that cost St. Louis investors tens of millions of dollars.

Last year Krempasky agreed to give up her law license for three years following an investigation by the Secretary of State's Office that found she misled financial backers caught up in the scheme. The St. Louis attorney has since appealed to the court to shorten those sanctions to one year. But in disbarring her this week, the Supreme Court in effect lengthened the penalty against her by two years. (Disbarment in Missouri lasts for five years.)

"The court finds that [Krempasky] is guilty of professional misconduct and should be disciplined," wrote Chief Justice Mary Russell in an order handed down October 28.

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Hillsdale Cop Sentenced to Jail Time for Conspiracy to Steal, Sell Heroin

Categories: Crime

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Parrish Swanson.
Lieutenant Parrish Swanson, an officer with the Hillsdale Police Department, received a nearly four-year jail sentence Thursday after pleading guilty to charges of conspiracy to distribute and attempted distribution of heroin.

Swanson's 46-month sentence will be followed by three years of supervised release, according to the U.S. Attorney's office.

It all started in March when Swanson, 41, and another Hillsdale officer -- Raymond Stephens, 29, who is scheduled to be sentenced on October 31 -- agreed to rip off a heroin courier and give the drugs to a suspected dealer in exchange for $900.

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St. Louis Rams Player Defends Bumbling "Chevy Guy" Rikk Wilde's World Series Meltdown

Categories: Sports

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YouTube
"Chevy Guy" Rikk Wilde (L) tries to explain why it's good to have "technology and stuff" in your truck.
If you hurled your television out the window last night in angry disappointment when the San Francisco Giants won the 2014 World Series and dashed the hopes of a nation of Kansas City Royals fans/bandwagon joiners, you missed something delightfully awkward.

Rikk Wilde, an executive at Chevrolet, had the seemingly simple task of awarding Giants pitcher Madison Bumgarner with the World Series MVP award and a 2015 Chevrolet Colorado.

But in a performance that have many clamoring to name him the MVP of awkwardness, Wilde faltered and sweated over his lines, taking long pauses and checking his notes.

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Without Darren Wilson's Testimony, St. Louis County Prosecutor Drops 5 Felony Cases

Categories: Ferguson

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UPI/Bill Greenblatt
St. Louis County prosecuting attorney Bob McCulloch.
St. Louis County prosecuting attorney Bob McCulloch dismissed five pending felony court cases Wednesday because they depend on testimony from Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson.

Wilson is a key witness in the five cases, which cannot continue without his testimony.

Wilson, who fatally shot unarmed teen Michael Brown on August 9 and set off weeks of protests and backlash against police, has been in hiding since the shooting. Wilson, who is on paid administrative leave, emerged briefly to testify in Clayton to the grand jury investigating Brown's death, but he was not seen in public.

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12 Last Minute St. Louis-Themed Halloween Costume Ideas

Categories: Holidays

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Illustrations by Curtis Tinsley
Need a Halloween costume idea? What about one of St. Louis' 250 birthday cakes?
Happy (almost) Halloween!

If you're anything like us, you still haven't bought a costume for the spooky, boozy weekend ahead. And whether you're passing treats out to trick-or-treaters or painting the town red with friends, you'll need a costume -- even if it's something you throw together last-minute.

See also: 6 Cardinals-Themed Halloween Costume Ideas

But coming up with costume ideas is hard. That's why we've done it for you.

Inspired by current events and our own sick sense of humor, here are the Riverfront Timesbest last-minute St. Louis-themed costume ideas:

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How to Apply For a Job at IKEA in St. Louis

Categories: Bidness

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Lindsay Toler
Missouri officials break ground on the new IKEA store in St. Louis.
How's your Swedish? Are you any good with an Allen wrench? Do you love meatballs? We have a job opportunity for you.

As IKEA builds its highly anticipated, 380,000-square-foot store in midtown St. Louis, the furniture retailer announced that it's beginning to recruit staff for about 300 jobs.

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Ferguson Police Chief Says CNN Report Is Wrong, Denies Plans to Resign

Categories: Ferguson

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Chad Garrison
Chief Tom Jackson releases the name of the officer who fatally shot Michael Brown to the media.
CNN caused quite a stir late Tuesday by breaking the news that Ferguson police chief Tom Jackson will step down soon as part of a multifaceted plan to overhaul the department.

But so far, there's no sign that CNN's big scoop is true.

Jackson, St. Louis County's police chief Jon Belmar, Ferguson mayor John Knowles and other police, city and county officials repeatedly and resoundingly told media Jackson has no immediate plans to step down, nor is he being fired.


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St. Louis Company Memo Condemns Excessive Pooping in Fourth Floor Bathroom

Categories: Bidness

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Regnatarajan via Flickr
Elasticity says too many poops are happening in the fourth-floor bathroom.
Every office has a "shitting shitter," the designated toilet for during-work bowel movements.

Typically, it's tucked away somewhere, isolated enough to prevent unsavory smells from wafting into the workflow. (The Riverfront Times' is in a nook by the fire escape, in case you were wondering.)

But that's no longer the case at St. Louis marketing agency Elasticity as of Sunday, when the company issued an amusingly overwritten memo to staff and visitors about "unfettered and egregious abuse of the fourth floor lavatory."

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