But the old gray lady buried the lede, for it's not till graf sixteen when we arrive at the following nugget: "Obama sex toys, which will not be described here, are available for $34.95 at one online company. At another, 'I [heart] Obama Classic Thong Undies,' are selling for $8.99."
Check out the "Head O State" two-inch-thick "Official Obama" dildo, with a special endorsement from VP-wannabe Sarah Palin ("Drill, baby, drill!").
This nifty little toy needs no batteries, is waterproof and is said to, uh, come in at seven-and-a-half inches high.