Google "Alerts" Herald Really Important News, like today's, "Man With Workout-Ball-Slashing Fetish Charged"
Unreal really enjoyed the gem delivered this morning under the headline, "Man With Workout-Ball-Slashing Fetish Charged."
|Here's what appears when Unreal searches online images for "fetish." Ball-slashing not found. Drats.|
"Police started looking for 31-year-old Christopher Bjerkness after surveillance tape allegedly showed him breaking into a fitness clinic in May and slashing exercise balls.
"Duluth Police said Bjerkness was arrested after he called them from..."
Hold up there! DULUTH?!
OK, uh, yeah, that would be St. Louis County, Minnesota.
'Round these parts, we're more likely to see a headline about arrests of drivers of redneck limos.
For the rest of that Duluth story, take the jump.
"The complaint says when he pleaded guilty in that case, he admitted to slashing more than 40 other balls at two clinics.
"Court documents say Bjerkness told police he slashed the rubber balls to satisfy a sexual urge. Experts said he has an unusual attraction to inflatable exercise devices.
"Bjerkness appeared in court Monday morning and his bail was set at $10,000, according to the Sheriff's Office. He's scheduled to return for trial in a month."