Morticians, Drunk Uncles, Phony Gas Workers and Phillies Fans: Can You Say "Ass Clown of the Week"?

By Chad Garrison Fri., Jul. 31 2009 at 10:30 AM

Categories: Ass Clown of the Week

Friday. You know what that means. Time to take a long, hard look at the people whose dubious achievements captured headlines in -- and near -- our fair city of St. Louis over the past seven days.

And the nominees are...

1. Dale Phillips -- The 27-year-old from Joplin, Missouri, accused of challenging his 11-year-old nephew to a drinking game. Uncle Dale won when the nephew died, allegedly from alcohol poisoning.

2. Fake Laclede Gas Man -- Police say this unknown villain has been posing as gas worker to gain access to the homes of elderly residents in St. Louis. Once inside the bandit forcibly demands money after completing no gas-line repair work.

3. Harold Warren Sr. and Harold Warren Jr. -- The father-and-son morticians from central Missouri who gave up their funeral director and embalmers licenses this week amid allegations that they charged families for bogus cremations, allowed bodies to rot before disposing of them, and falsified death certificates to indicate cremation had taken place when it had not.

4. Phillies Fans -- Perhaps a cheap shot but, whoa, are they unapologetic when it comes to dirty tricks like shining laser pointers into the eyes of Cardinals batters.

There you have it -- short and sweet this week. Now perform your civic duty. Vote, dammit!