Dudes Who Posted on CL Missed Connections Last Week: Near-Certain FAIL

Recall the goal of Craigslist Missed Connections: to reach someone with whom you had a positive and brief - but anonymous - encounter. Well, as we dutifully rooted through the local Missed Connections page yet again this week, we were struck by an abundance of posts, all authored by dudes, that appear rather unlikely to succeed in that task.

Some made us nervous just reading...
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Volvo; Redhead; Wishy Washy - m4w - 33 - (Wishy Washy)

This is ridiculous. I am ridiculous. Well, I just had a sense of regret that I was on a precipice, about to attempt diving into a little small-talk with you, and the timing was a little off. Also, I think you smiled at me and I was surprised, and so, I didn't smile back quickly enough (maybe I even forgot to smile altogether). If you're the lovely lass driving the (amazing) Volvo wagon...maybe you'd consider...umm...responding....or...uhh...maybe you'll be there next weekend around the same time. This is weird; I'm done now.


Some committed crimes against punctuation and grammar...

WHITE MAZDA PROTEGE - m4m - (OAKVILLE)

seen u in oakville few weeks ago hot tall very thin short brn hair hot as hell dont know if ur into this but would love to find out nsa bjs anybody know this yung dude and know if hed be into this


Some appeared to have housed a case of Mountain Dew and should NOT have been allowed near a "Shift" key.... 

!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - m4w - (Schnucks)

Just want to say THANKS!!! Thanks to the blonde I seen at the Schnucks store on Howdershell this evening, she was so sexy and smell, WOW, smelled sooooo good! I had to take a couple looks and wanted to say something but I was just in AWWWWWWW.. Thank you for putting a smile on my face and making my night. Im sure you have a boyfriend or you may even be married, all I can say is he's ONE LUCKY GUY.


And some were so slimy we felt ready for a shower....

Kristine C. - m4w

You Asked Me What Was Most Important...
My Life...
or You...
I Responded...
My Life...
You Walked Away Mad...
Did You Realise, You Are My Life...

Love Always,
M
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