Budweiser's quest for Coors! Writes WVIT?'s anonymous blogging voice: Up in the Air focuses on Ryan Bingam -- played by George Clooney -- a corporate downsizing expert who travels 322 days out of the year for work (he spends "the other 43 in misery at home"), flying from city to city to fire other people's employees. First important note: Outside of Up in the Air, Mr. Clooney is the voice of Budweiser. Watch and listen to the clip below; I think you'll agree, you can't go wrong with Beachwood [ sic] aging and the choicest hops.
But back to the film -- Mr Bingham's overarching motivation throughout most of the story is to reach the holy grail of status, 10-million frequent flyer miles, which will place him in the most elite group of travelers, get his name etched on the side of a plane and a chance to meet American Airlines' chief pilot Maynard Finch -- played by the great
. During the film, I sensed Mr. Bingham was on a Wizard of Oz-like quest for meaning -- while alienating family and friends -- to finally obtain his ultimate goal, and the opportunity to shake hands with the legendary and mysterious captain.
Second important note:
When not in movies, Mr. Elliott is none other than the voice of
Coors Banquet beer
. Watch and listen to the commercial below.
You'll have to read WVIT? for the rest of the scenario, but suffice to say it's an ideological clash greater than the
Pocahontas storyline of Avatar. And as far as Unreal's concerned, it doesn't stop there!
Bear with us:
both the American Heritage Foundation and the American Enterprise Institute, two exceptionally conservative think tanks.
Unreal heard a rumor that
Up in the Air was filmed in St. Louis -- true? St. Louis is the HQ of Budweiser, Clooney's employer. St. Louis is a staunchly Democratic city. And Clooney's a big ol' liberal, the polar opposite of Adolph Coors, right-wing warrior for truth and spiritual godfather of Ed Meese.
This is exactly the sort of ideological chemical wedding
was attempting to produce before the Bilderburgers had him eliminated!
Also, Clooney starred on the fatal final season of
The Facts of Life as a handyman. A handyman is a man who can fix things, but in this case he killed the show. Liberal Handyman + neo-con beer baron + rice in beer + easy drinkin' can + quest for rapprochement between two ideological enemies = terribly muddled metaphor for... Barack Obama.
Unreal produces a monthly pamphlet, "Defenestration Is Just the Beginning of Our Spiritual Downfall," that we urge you all to sign up for.
P.S.: We are not a crank.
P.P.S.: From the Whose Voice Is That? "
Over the last few years I've recognized that I have, what seems to me and others, a completely random talent: the astute ability to identify voices in commercials, cartoons, voice overs, etc. Some are born with natural gifts like a photographic memory, musical ability, or excel in athletics. Others have brilliant minds in English, science, mathematics or all of the above. I was average in most of these "usable" areas but I know voices....