Eat a Delicious 16-Ounce Porterhouse Steak for Fifty Cents

​Freeloaders, cheapskates and misers of the region unite! In what could prove to be a most unwise experiment, Monarch Restaurant, in Maplewood, is offering patrons a chance to pay whatever they damn well please for their dining experience.

Beginning next week on Mondays and Tuesdays, customers can order anything off the menu and leave whatever they want in the bill presenter. Unfortunately, the deal doesn't apply to booze. (Bastards!)

The month-long experiment is a way for the owners to reach new customers, which they hope will offset the expenses for a new kitchen renovation.

"Come into Monarch Restaurant and enjoy dinner, and pretend that the prices aren't even on the menu," Jeff Orbin, co-owner, told KMOV.

Yeah, but what about those inevitable gluttons and leeches who'll game the system and stiff the restaurant in the end?

Orbin admitted that there'll be folks who say to themselves: " 'Let's go there for dinner' with forty dollars in their pocket, and have this elaborate meal for forty dollars," he told KMOV.

Oh, dear. Maybe it's just because our offices are next to Washington University, where Ramen noodles are gorged on by the masses, but leaving 40 bucks for a three-course meal wasn't exactly the worst of our fears. Try hacking a digit off that estimate, and then get back to us.