Butt-Dial Launches SWAT Action

​Here's a tale that puts your unfortunate drunken butt-dial to Grandma from the bar into perspective.

Outside Chicago yesterday, a woman got a call from her husband on his cell phone that terrified her into thinking he was in a hostage situation at the school where he works.

She heard scary, seemingly-violent sounds and couldn't get him to respond. So she called 911, and the police in Winnetka, about a half-hour drive north of Chicago, sent the SWAT team to the school, according to the Chicago Tribune.

Her husband wasn't there. Neither was there a shooter, nor anything amiss, as the 30 heavily-armed cops in riot realized after a three-hour standoff.

"You know how when you sit on your phone when it's in your back pocket and it calls the last number that was dialed? His wife was the last number he'd dialed," Winnetka police chief Joseph De Lopez told the Tribune. Apparently he was driving around and listening to something fairly upsetting.

There weren't any kids at the school, where the butt-dialer works as a school district employee. Poor humiliated Mr. and Mrs. Butt Dialer's names aren't being released, and no one's being charged with any crimes, since it was an honest mistake on everyone's part.

We're left with a burning question, of course: What the hell was he listening to? We can only speculate that he's not a big Justin Bieber fan.

Keyguard, folks. It's not rocket science.