Heroin Lesson #74: Frozen Meat Down the Pants Does Not Cure Overdose

frozen burgers.jpg
"Two of these down the jeans, and call me in the morning." -- Dr. Feelgood
Today's lesson on the perils of drug use comes courtesy of an East St. Louis dealer convicted this week in the death of one of his clients.

According to federal prosecutors, Tavis D. Doyle sold heroin to J.J. Ward in May 2009 and then refused to seek treatment for Ward once he started overdosing inside Doyle's crack house. Instead, Doyle placed frozen meat down Ward's pants in the belief that the animal flesh would somehow revive him. When that didn't work, Doyle told witnesses that Ward just "needed to sleep it off."

Other people inside Doyle's drug den eventually took Ward to the hospital where he was declared dead. Doyle now faces a mandatory sentence of life without parole, which (we're told) could be reversed should Doyle cover his body in honey and prunes.

H/T: St. Louis Post-Dispatch
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Rob S
Rob S

First time I've heard of a junkie who lost all his brain cells. Can't say I'm sorry for the OD victim, it was only a matter of time before he offed himself. Funny enough though, if you did enter a court room with your body covered in honey and prunes you won't be on your way to jail but somewhere else. Watch out though, lot of those judges need the prunes and may jump ya.

STLNEWSMOD
STLNEWSMOD

I've just been informed by a fairly credible source that frozen food up the rectum is something of a time-honored trick for bringing heroin users back from the brink. Per my informant...

It's an old junkie trick. If somebody slows down so much their heart/breathing stops, the friends will shove something frozen up dying junkie's ass; the shock of something that cold jammed into the body's core is supposed to kick-start their involuntary nervous system, and they resume breathing. I know a guy who was revived thusly, and surprised the paramedics by standing up and having a frozen burrito fall out of his ass.

Handsome Jimmy
Handsome Jimmy

Huh...learn something everyday. Bean or beef burrito?

STLNEWSMOD
STLNEWSMOD

Not sure. But I did ask whether the burrito came out thawed. Apparently not. They have to be up there for a while to defrost.

Handsome Jimmy
Handsome Jimmy

Ray-Ray and Pookey says "my brotha Travis, J.J. done went and over dosed on that smack that you done sold him." Travis says" Here's five dollas, run over to the hood sto and pick up some frozen meat patties and we'll just put em' dowm J.J.s pants...he'll be good to go in an hour" "OK Travis, said Pookey, be back in a jiffy wif da meat."

That's how I imagine the conversation must have gone.

Bitter Tim
Bitter Tim

"Here's my chance to use my 'hilarious' black voice!"

That's how I imagine the conversation in Handsome Jimmy's head must have gone.

Your Momma
Your Momma

It's interesting to see how economic status effects the criminality of one dying of drug overdoses in your home.

Neiljones111
Neiljones111

Now Momma, who could you POSSIBLY be referring to? Certainly not the boyfriend of one dearly departed "aspiring beer model," whose last name happens to adorn the marquee of our beloved baseball stadium?

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