A Thoughtful (and Apparently Real) Letter to a Prostitute

Every so often, we scour the local Missed Connections section of Craigslist, in search of the best posts. Here is one that caught our eye recently.

"Keeping it real"

And now for the truly vulgar part of the letter. Continue at your own peril...


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Rudy Moore
Rudy Moore

A true-life When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong.


Dear "John:" I just can't go down on something so small. I mean your about as hung as one of those cicadas that are poppin up all over town. And quit complaining about my fees. You said you would rather give me the money  than to your wife or the collection plate at church. Are you still a Deacon? I can be kinky as hell but having you eat  the sloppy seconds from my regulars is beyond the pale - unless you wish to taste  the  drippings of Bubba, Tyrone, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, to name a few. Or, perhaps I could relent and let you lap it up after I have taken on the football team and the band which I do on a regular basis. And if you don't like my prices, go somewhere else for your sexual escapades. And know this, I  as a hooker make more money than a drug dealer since I can wash my crack and sell it again and again.


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