Five Things To Do if You Are Robbed (According to the St. Louis Circuit Attorney)

Categories: Crime
joycePhoto1.jpg
"Give the robber whatever they ask for. No possession is worth more than your life. Period," wrote Joyce.
Full disclosure up-front: this is a bit of a let down.

There are, in fact, hundreds or thousands of things you could do when getting robbed (the exact number is based on whether you count "turn and run" and "point over the robber's shoulder and say 'what is that?' then turn and run" separately).

You could kick the (male) robber in the groin and book it. You could throw your wallet/purse high in the air, which should momentarily distract your assailant, then sprint around the nearest corner. You could summon/feign empathy and say something like, "You know what man, I can't even blame you. Two of my brothers and one of my uncles just got laid off. Tough times..." and hope that the inevitable bond between you and the robber leads to him letting you go. Or, if you feel confident enough to make these kind of presumptions, you could go with a variation and say something like, "You know what man, I can't even blame you. The way [those damn ignorant Republicans are/that damn socialist Obama is] running this country, you might well be a step ahead of all of us!"

Circuit Attorney Jennifer Joyce has seen hundreds of robbery cases (there were more than 2,000 reported robberies in St. Louis in 2010). So she is in a good position to articulate "Five Things To Do if You are Robbed," which is what she (or a staffer) titled a post yesterday on her office's remarkably informative Facebook page (one recent post explained the legal differences between "robbery," "burglary" and "stealing").

With her knowledge and expertise, it seemed reasonable to expect from this list a few super secret tricks of the trade that would have you mowing down hooligans like Oh Dae-su in that concrete corridor in Oldboy.

Instead, her advice is more prudent and, in many ways, more useful:

1. Give the robber whatever they ask for. No possession is worth more than your life. Period.

2. Assume all weapons are real and loaded. You don't want to guess wrong on this.

3. Pay attention to your attacker so you can give as many details as possible to the police. Try to remember things like height, distinguishing features, clothing and direction of flight.

4. Call 911 as soon as you're out of danger an[d] give the police a complete a description as possible.

5. If there are witnesses, ask them to stay until police arrive. Ask for their name and contact information.

Remember: You[r] chances of being robbed are small, yet thinking about it now will help you remember these tips in spite of the adrenaline if you are ever a victim.

Feel free to print, cut and laminate.


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27 comments
Danieljoeoconnor
Danieljoeoconnor

i like to pack my little bonds over n under derringer: a 410 shotgun shell n a 45 slug. blast one up close n the other while he's runnin. give 'em your stuff? that's easy to say but i bet in real life if some one grabbed her purse she would fight like a tiger.  

Da Bronx Bad Boy
Da Bronx Bad Boy

learn to box or learn martial arts and street survival skills at my school. I am the real thing. check me out at www.chuckzito dot com

Da Bronx Bad Boy
Da Bronx Bad Boy

Learn to Box or learn self defense at my martial arts street survival school. check me out at www.chuckzito.com I am the real thing from the Bronx NYC.

KITTY
KITTY

#6 Thing to Do if You'r Robbed: If the perp is a young black male wearing a hoodie dont waste your time calling the cops to report the incident. The description of that perp fits 99% of the thugs on the north side. The cops would have no idea where to begin looking for him.

The west is the best
The west is the best

 all negros or colored people look the same is your point? leave the east coast or midwest move out west to colorado,nevada,utah,montana, north and south dakota etc. not alot of blackies out west. mostly white aryan anglos,indians and mexican americans not the same as wetback mexicans. 2 differnet things. we dont have that problem out here in the wild west. you can have your niggers.

Da Bronx Bad Boy
Da Bronx Bad Boy

 We Italians call them Blacks MELANZAN. thats Italian for eggplant as they look like egg plants.

Chuck Zito
Chuck Zito

 so what your saying is all negos or colored people all look the same? lol learn to box or learn martial arts at my street survival school. I am the real thing. check me out at www.chuckzito.com

Goloco
Goloco

Police are useless.  I'll be damned if I give up my stuff to someone that easily!

Cowboy Billy
Cowboy Billy

I wear a big sharp giant knives on my sides. 1 on my left side and 1 on my right side. most people see that and get away from me fast. im an ex offender or ex convict we cant own a gun so I wear 2 big knives on my side instead.  I also carry a legal cattle prod and they hurt like shit and are legal  to have and cheap to buy.they are cheaper than a taser gun and no background checks either to purchuse one.

Legal  Side Arms
Legal Side Arms

In Arizona men and women wear their pistols legally and proudly on their side just like in the old west and no one messes with you here. you can even wear them in church or a saloon here or while riding your Harley Davidson. this is what keeps thugs , hoods and gangsters from messing with you. they see that side arm on your side and they move on to an easier target. Arizona is the only state where you can wear a pistol on your side any where you go in this desert state. its a cool place with cool people and  year round warm sunny weather. that why I left st louis mo and moved here. fast shiney motorcycles, guns and great year round weather.

HELLS ANGELS MC
HELLS ANGELS MC

Im a member of the Hells Angels MC Alton Hellinois Charter and no one bothers us ever no matter how tough or bad they think they are. everybody fears us.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Im a member of Hans Weimann's Hair Club for Men and no one bothers us ever no matter how tough or bad they think they are. everybody fears us.

Jburckhart
Jburckhart

I prefer my 2 dobermans to carrying a gun. They don't know you have a gun until you pull it out. They see my monsters a mile away and move to the other side of the street. Best deterrent ever.

OLD HIPPIE
OLD HIPPIE

 then comes years in prison for a murder that wasnt quite legal. this is the part you didnt think of. its not as easy as you think to shoot and kill people.

Br549
Br549

 Your a pseudo tough guy. I bet I could whoop your ass and your 2 Magnum PI security dogs with one fist. I would kick the pistola out of your hand before your hick ass knew what hit ya. martial arts guys like me can do shit like that thanks to the USMC.

Cowboy Billy
Cowboy Billy

then take the gun and shoot the 2 dogs right? sounds good to me.

thischick
thischick

I have spent the vast majority of my life with a serious anti-gun attitude. I'd frown upon anyone who felt the need to keep firearms around and thought they were all total trashy hoosiers who needed life lessons. Then a few months ago an attempted robbery happened at my apartment while I was home. He didn't think I was home, so when he realized I was, he quickly ran away. Suddenly everything changed. I changed. I took a ccw course, got a permit, a gun, and practice periodically (it's therapeutic as hell). So seriously? Fuck this list, and fuck anyone who makes judgement on me, a single female, who has every right to protect herself. Bye.

Amy carries
Amy carries

Hell yes sister!  Your story is common and everyone has a right to self-defense using the best means available if you can.  Always resist...they're just as likely to rape then kill you after they steal your stuff.

Da Bronx Bad Boy
Da Bronx Bad Boy

 AMY, nobody wants to rape you darlin. get over yourself. your way over rating yourself. I have seen you up close and your nothing to brag about.

alwaysccw
alwaysccw

That's a nice list.  But there should be a little * above #1 that says "Please disregard the below instructions if you are armed in which case kill the sons of bitches."

Guest
Guest

yeah...because pulling a gun out of its holster while someone is already pointing a gun at you is both easy and safe...

a ccw does nothing when a gun is already in your back...fool

SAL
SAL

 I saw that in an old western movie once and your 100% correct brother.

center_mass
center_mass

Typical response from the uneducated.  There's a lot of ways a CCW helps when someone's got the drop and they train you for that.  Someone having the drop on you wouldn't stop a lot of carriers and having a gun is always better than being defenseless...fool.

Neuracnu
Neuracnu

Cute cowboy response there, brosephus. Actually, capitulating if someone gets the drop on you is the first thing a good CCW instructor will teach. You are not Jack Bauer, you're an easy mark.

SAL
SAL

 just by you saying the word drop on you twice tells me you know nothing at all. your a drama queen.you watch to many Kojak-Hawaii 50-Rockford files rerun episodes on tv. who have you got the drop on in your whole life I ask you? anyone?

Imbullishes
Imbullishes

I like the way this country boy thinks...that would solve a lot of problems, time, wasted money, attorneys pleading that he/she really didn't mean it and mostly other victims that this scum will harm done the road.  The judges sit there and don't have a clue how impacting and devastating their actions are.  They talk a good game but have no idea.  When they do that drastic of a measure, light them up.  They deserve it.

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