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Was a Mouse Really Found in a Mountain Dew Can? Local Lawsuit Goes Viral

Remember Ronald Ball, the Illinois man who's been suing PepsiCo on a claim that he opened a can of Mountain Dew and found a dead mouse inside?

The Madison Record broke the story a year and a half ago, followed by the Daily RFT (here and here). But yesterday, websites from the Daily Mail in Great Britain to The Star in Canada to Fox News lit up with headlines announcing PepsiCo's rather macabre defense: That any mouse submerged in Mountain Dew that long would've completely disintegrated.

In a signed affidavit, a veterinary pathologist (who's studied just this sort of phenomenon) describes in gruesome detail what would befall such a mouse:
a. between four days to at most seven days in the fluid, the mouse will have no calcium in its bones and boney structures.

b. Within four to seven days in the fluid, the mouse's abdominal structure will rupture. Its cranial cavity (head) is also likely to rupture within that time period.

c. by 30 days of exposure to the fluid, all of the mouse's structures will have disintegrated to the point the structures (excepting possibly a portion of the tail) will not be recognizable,and, therefore, the animal itself will not be recognizable. Instead, after 30 days in the fluid, the mouse will have been transformed into a "jelly-like" substance.
To recap: Its skeleton falls apart, its head explodes, and it becomes jelly. In other words, the soda turns out to be a bit more acidic than actual dew on an actual mountain. 

But for all the media blitz, this defense proffered by PespiCo been out there for a while: PepsiCo filed the document several months ago, says Samantha Unsell, the Belleville-based attorney representing Mr. Ball.

"You know how these things go," she says. "It must've caught someone's eye. But it wasn't anything new."

Unsell says PepsiCo will have to file a response to her client's second amended complaint later this month.
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Pete Pepper
Pete Pepper

Sounds like someone was watching "Strange Brew".Now though I am just glad I do not drink this crap.  It can dissolve a mouse that fast?  Why would you drink this?The only soda I drink is in my bourbon, an then only rarely.

FELINE
FELINE

"As the #1 Ambulance Chaser in the State of Missouri, I dare say there are never mouses or chopped body parts in cola cans. It there were, B & C would have been the first Shyster Lawfirm to file a class action suit against Pepsico.We tried and tried to duplicate the jellied mouse cola but were never successful. All we ended up with was a gooey cola that tasted almost as bad as Dr. Pepper. (Oh, the millions in padded fees we have lost!) Please notify me if any of you have perfected a way to put a mouse in a can of Pepsi - I'll make you filthy rich! Well, I gotta go, it's time to sue that 90 yr. old woman who sneezed on a client!" Don't Delay. Call the Kings of Sleeze Today!  Thank You. Terry CrouppenBrown & Croopen  

KITTY
KITTY

Mouse or no mouse, Pepsi still tastes like shit! And if a mouse would really turn to jelly in a can of Pepsi, Pepsi should come out with a new line of cola with a mouse in every can. It could be marketed as a protein beverage for pregnant women and those without teeth.  New Ad:

Try Mickey's Mouse-Gel Cola. It's Tasty,  Easy to Chew!  Leaves your mouth refreshed with just a whiff of Minnie Mouse's crotch. And best of all, your Kitty Kats will kiss you like never before. Moms will love the fact they can give their kids a soda and snack all in one can! It's more healthy than a box of Kraft's Mac & Cheese!  And once kids get a taste of Mickey's Mouse-Gel Cola they will never want Coke or Pepsi again.

By the way, you know why Minnie Mouse was placed in a mental institution? Because she was fuckin' goofy!

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