Attorney General Wants to do $3.2 Million of Sprucing Up

Categories: Missourah
milk crates.jpg
They're also great for holding records -- musical, not legal.
Attorney General Chris Koster wants to use some of that sweet penalty money he's collected prosecuting consumer fraud cases on behalf of the people of Missouri to jazz up his staff offices. He's proposed receiving $3.2 million to replace cubicles and carpet, raise the ceiling on two floors of the Broadway State Office Building and improve the heating and cooling system.

$3.2 million? Someone's been watching too much HGTV. Koster claims he doesn't want anything too spashy, he's just trying to bring the space up the level of a modest law office. That's great, but doesn't he know the state's facing a budget crisis? Here's what you do: Save that money for something vital, and get a couple guys who just got out of college to come over and re-do those offices in late Salvation Army.

A couple of wobbly-legged mismatched desks, some second-hand sofas, a few of those grandma lamps you can always pick up for $10 -- that's how a lot of us live anyway, dude. If you're representing us, you should try decorating like us.

Say, Mr. Koster: Have you ever seen a cubicle built out of milk crates? I'm not gonna tell you where I got the milk crates, what with you being the top-dog prosecutor, but I will tell you that they make excellent lightweight walls. Put a few of them on their sides when you're wiring them together and you have instant shelves. A couple box fans and some space heaters will take care of your climate control issues, too. ProTip: Buy the fans now, and get the space heaters when it gets hot -- it's cheaper that way.

We're all in this together, A-G Koster. Maybe you could spend like it.

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