The Cubs' Imaginary Championship: Still Tough to Believe

I was watching MLB Network the other day, watching the Angels and Diamondbacks play, I believe, and a commercial came on. You may have seen it, or you may not have. Or you may have seen it and thought you were just having some kind of horrible hallucination, perhaps caused by a stroke or something similar. 

Well, I'm here to tell you it's not a stroke, and not a brain tumor. Not a flashback from your wilder years, either. (And I have to tell you, if you've ever hallucinated something so awful under the effects of LSD, I can totally understand if it was the last time you ever touched the stuff.) No, there is really an advertisement on television right now showing perhaps the most nightmarish scenario any Cardinal fan could imagine. 

The commercial in question is for MLB 12 The Show, the latest installment in Sony's MLB: The Show series of baseball video games. Go ahead and just take a look for yourself at the disaster Sony is conjuring up to sell video games.

Three thoughts occur to me: 

One, the commercial itself isn't very realistic, since it doesn't show the ground opening up and swallowing the city of Chicago whole into the flames of Hell, which is what would happen if the Cubs were to actually win a championship. It's a scientifically believable fact, people! Just read the book of Revelation. Totally in there. 

Two, I have to admit the old guy cutting off his beard is pretty funny. 

Three, Sony should have gotten Steve Bartman to be in that commercial, no matter what the cost. I know the guy has done anything and everything possible to avoid the spotlight, but still. I don't care if you have to pay him $5 million for ten seconds of screen time. I would be willing to bet the attention generated by having Bartman in the advert would have more than justified whatever price he demanded.

Actually, three thoughts aren't enough. I also think the tagline in this case, "So Real It's Unreal," is just absolutely perfect. Even as a video game, I'm just finding the Cubs' championship impossible to believe. 

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handsome jimmy
handsome jimmy

Fuck the goddamn Cubs.

Whew, I feel better already.


Revelation 23:1-5 And on the 6th hour of 6th day of the 6th month in the 6th year in the 666,666th century, the 6th beast walked out of hell & carried with him a mighty rod. And he walked to the far northern city where a mighty wind blowed & great sorrow filled the people of the city, because the Lord God Almighty had cursed them. For they had turned away from the Lord & sinned against him. And the beast walked into the center of the city & a great fear filled the all the people. And the beast smote the earth, and the earth opened up & reviled hell & the great Satan & all his demons. And the city & all the people therein were swallowed up into the bowls of hell. And they were tormented day & night forever & ever by Satan & his demons.

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