Springfield Women Accused of Shoplifting Left Kids in Car

Trojan Twister.jpg
The Trojan Twister is not a clickbait Trojan Horse -- it's actually relevant.
Two unidentified Springfield, Missouri, women, ages 19 and 24, were accused of shoplifting by Walgreens staff, and the police were duly summoned. The young ladies expressed some concern to the police that there were kids waiting for them in their car. It was after midnight, after all -- you can't be too careful.

Police searched the car and discovered a one-year-old child and a five-month-old child. They also found several bags of merchandise apparently stolen from an area Wal-Mart.

At this point, you would assume maximum embarrassment abounded for the ladies. It's the middle of the night, their tykes are in a Walgreen's parking lot rather than safe in bed at home, they have merchandise allegedly stolen from another store in their possession -- and yet it gets more awkward for them.

Among the items detailed in the police report as stolen are several pairs of "No Nonsense Ahh, Said the Foot" brand socks (?), a Clio Pixie brand bikini shaver and a Trojan Twister brand vibrator. Ahem. One of the Trojan Twister's features, as noted on Trojan's website, are "an elegant satin pouch for discreet storage."

It just goes to show that you can't buy really buy discreetness.

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