Nazi Zombies Definitely Attacked a Road in Chesterfield
After a string of horrific incidents, including the time Miami police had to shoot a man dead to stop him from eating a homeless man's face, the Centers for Disease Control released an official statement denying that the crimes were signs of a zombie apocalypse. The "CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)," officials wrote.
This is, unquestionably, very like the scene that greeted Chesterfield motorists over the weekend.
An official government denial is, of course, one of the most common signs that the zombie apocalypse is upon us. Now, new photos have emerged in Chesterfield proving incontrovertibly that zombies are on the loose in our very backyards.
A Chesterfield resident and his family noticed something off with a digital construction sign in near their home. The heart-stopping warning read, "NAZI ZOMBIES! RUN!!!" Foolishly, the family did not flee and instead took cell phone photos of the sign.
Clearly it is time to panic. Pay no attention to the fact that the padlock on the sign's keypad had been broken into, and that any Call of Duty fanboy familiar with the "Nazi Zombie" mode could have reprogrammed the sign's message if they managed to bypass its password prompt.
Local police are considering the incident vandalism, the latest sinister move in a government cover-up that could cost hundreds if not thousands of lives. This is not the first time such unassailable proof has come to light -- in 2009, a road sign in Austin, Texas, once warned, "Zombies ahead! Run for your lives!" Apparently, a rogue band of roadside construction workers are determined to get the message to the people.
Check out the sign here at the Chesterfield Patch.