Top

blog

Stories

 

Renowned Actor, Master Thespian, Critiques Firefighter Pension Commercials

jon lovitz acting.jpg
The St. Louis firefighters' union is on the offensive. This week the International Association of Fire Fighters began airing advertisements on local television calling Mayor Francis Slay's attempt to reform the runaway costs of their pension a "raid" on their retirement.

Slay now has his own commercial in response to the "attack ads" from the union.

But which advertisement is better? For that, Daily RFT turns to the foremost expert on "acting" -- Master Thespian.

First up, the union's commercial:



Says Master Thespian: "You call that acting?! Rubbish. Rubbish I tell you! What is that the one widow says? 'Sometimes it is really, really hard?' That's what she said! (Seriously, that is what she said.) And what about the deer-in-headlights white firefighter? You can mentally see him calling 'line!' when it's his turn to address the camera! We tar and feather students for less at the Royal Drama Academy. And where is it that I've seen that handsome African-American fireman? Did he not play Othello at last year's Shakespeare Festival? Wait, no! I know how I recognize him! He's a beefcake calendar model! Mr. March, I believe. I'd recognize those pects anywhere! I suppose they let just any pretty face audition for these commercials?! Atrocious, I say! Atrocious!!!"  

And, now, Francis Slay's rebuttal:



Master Thespian: "Zzzzz. Huh? Wha? Yes, I'm awake! I was merely acting! Francis? Now this is a man who knows how to make love to the camera! Witness the nonchalant manner in which he walks (and talks!) toward the audience. And the casual way on which he rests his right buttock on his desk and brings his hand to his heart while discussing the way his mother was saved by firefighters! It brings tears to my eyes. I'm crying. [Sniffle.] Hah! I fooled you again! I was just acting! Seriously, though. This performance left me devoid of emotion. A greater acting sin I know not!"

How about you? Which ad works? Vote below.



My Voice Nation Help
17 comments
Sculptorman
Sculptorman

so tell us real talker- exactly when were you turned down by the fire department?....they dodged a bullet when they told you to take your sorry ass back to Mickey-D's to flip some more burgers....pure unadulterated SOUR GRAPES.....what an asshole....the sorry thing is, if you ever do need help from firefighters, they'll be there to save your worthless ass-because that's what they do every day....in between surfing porn and sleeping that is.....

RealTalker
RealTalker

Nope, I don't work for the mayor.  I work in the PRIVATE SECTOR.  Y'know, the people who are really adding VALUE to to this country.  I'm sick of these public sector parasites thinking they're entitled to MY tax dollars for sitting on their asses all day.

RealTalker works for the Mayor
RealTalker works for the Mayor

You cant be a real citizen RealTalker, you have to work for the Mayors office.  Your venomous rants don't make any sense otherwise

GoWalker
GoWalker

Woohoo! SCOTT WALKER baby!  Looks like a good portion of Democrats in Wisconsin have realized how disgusting and criminal public sector unions are. Let's hope this spreads across the country. END THE STLFD SCAM NOW.

Smithjones
Smithjones

Hey Real Talker, You come across as being some loud mouth worthless shit bag without any evidence. I am a St Louis City resident who is not a Fire Fighter. I honestly could give a shit about your meaningless responses and I back the Police & Fire Fighters 100%. The Slay Machine has crossed the line and refuses to discuss anything other than "His Way and only His Way" Facts are facts and City Hall in Fact did not fund the pension plans for 11 years writing  I O U"s and now they want to blaim everything on the pensions of the FireFighters. BULLSHIT! Real Talker I hope a Camel Shits down your throat in the darkness of night and when you need to dial 911 for anything at all I hope they put you on HOLD for  a long time and possibley forget your call completely. You don't deserve anything other than a mouth full of Camel SHIT!

Proud FF
Proud FF

St. Louis should keep its promisesBy Daniel G. Tobben05/05/2010

Politicians in St. Louis city government appear to be in denial about the causes of police and firefighters' pension funding issues. Contrary to what city officials have been promoting in the news media, the allegedly generous benefits provided for in the St. Louis police and firefighter pensions are not causing the city's budget problems.

In much of the news coverage, the city is presented as if it voluntarily passed a $140 million bond issue and then asked the citizens of St. Louis to raise their sales tax to maintain the pension funds after a prior market downturn.

The truth is that in 2007 the city was ordered by the Missouri Supreme Court to fully fund police and firefighter pensions in accordance with applicable state laws and city ordinances. That court decision caused the most recent bond issue. The sales tax increase was necessary, in large part, to create a revenue stream to pay off these bonds.

The lawsuits were filed in 2003 by the Firemen's Retirement System and the Police Retirement System. The trial court, the court of appeals and Missouri Supreme Court (11 judges in all) ruled unanimously against the city, which would seem to reflect negatively upon the wisdom of the city's decision to underfund these retirement systems during a time of relative prosperity.

In addition, the city spent very large sums on legal fees and countless hours in court attempting to justify its bad decision to cut its contribution to the pension funds, using the money required to fund pensions to pay for pet projects that the city found more attractive or politically expedient. Had the city just paid what it owed, millions of tax dollars could have been saved.

The Supreme Court noted that full funding by the city may create the need for some difficult budgeting decisions, but that didn't create a legal or constitutional issue. Consider what would happen if the city decided to stiff its bondholders. That is the more appropriate analogy to the city's position with respect to funding its public pensions than those positions advocated by city officials.

All of the city's legal posturing resulted in the Supreme Court's holding that these retirement benefits and their full funding are guaranteed by state law and ordinances and any reduction of existing retirees' benefits is probably unconstitutional. A promise made must be a promise kept.

This is not about new benefits for fire and police personnel; it is about paying for existing benefits. In fact, no new pension-related benefits have been granted since 2003.

Police officers and firefighters provide the most fundamental service a city can provide. They keep you safe. A stable public safety pension fund is one of the most important considerations in recruiting new members of the police and fire departments. These brave men and women put themselves in harm's way every day to protect city residents, businesses and organizations. In return, they ask for a reasonable pension when they are too old to do the intense physical work their job entails or when they are seriously injured on the job.

Firefighters and police officers do not qualify for Social Security because they have a government pension, so their pensions are all that they have when they retire. Firefighters have no health care coverage when they leave the job. They can stay in a city-sponsored program, but it costs more than $1,430 per month, which eats up much of the average firefighter's pension. Since firefighters usually retire in their mid- to late 50s, they struggle with health care costs until they are eligible for Medicare.

One can imagine how important a stable pension must be to a young recruit before making a decision to join the city's police or fire department. Would you take a low-paid, dangerous job if you were not offered the incentive of a guaranteed pension with strong disability benefits?

The city's budget crisis was not caused by public safety pensions.

And it is fundamentally important that the city continue to be served by dedicated police officers and firefighters who serve honorably and with distinction.

Daniel G. Tobben is a partner and the head of litigation at Danna McKitrick, P.C. He represents The Firemen's Retirement System of St. Louis as outside legal and trial counsel.

RealTalker
RealTalker

WRONG.  A "promise" is INVALID if it is made through fraudulent means.  All these "promises" to pay ridiculous pension benefits to firefighters were brokered by CORRUPT public sector unions making CORRUPT deals with CORRUPT politicians.

The promises were a SCAM. 

And don't even compare police to firefighters.  Police actually have to WORK.  They don't get paid to SLEEP like firefighters do.  They don't get paid to watch TV like firefighters do.

SLASH the STLFD.  End the scam and get rid of these pathetic parasites who masquerade as "heroes"

The Right at Night
The Right at Night

 Evidence please--I asked you once, now I'm TELLING you!  Show some physical, real evidence of your claims.  You're doing the talking--now back it up!

Jheree Coleman
Jheree Coleman

It is really easy to sit back and throw salt on the wound as a spectator. ALL you know is what you think you see on TV about a firefighters job, and that is because it glorified and completely inflated. Yea it shows the fires and maybe a car accident, but it doesnt show the community service, the car seat programs, the smoke detector programs, the safety talks, the Safe House, etc. When you, RealTalker, decide to give over your life to a life of service to a bunch of strangers just because, at that time are you in the position to have something negative to say about what they do!!! And the worst part about your dumb a** rant, we would still come to your home and treat you and your family with respect, because that is who we are!!! Justifiably Proud!!!

The Right at Night
The Right at Night

 So do I--and it's not as a fireman.  And sooner or later--you're gonna have to start backing up your tough talk.  Can't hide behind a computer screen forever, you know.  And you may need rescuing by the same folks you're trashing right now.  Let's hope that you never do.

RealTalker
RealTalker

Go back to watching Everybody Loves Raymond re-runs in the engine house, boy.  Some of us have real jobs.

Guest
Guest

This is the stupidest column ever.

GoWalker
GoWalker

The entire freaking public sector is a GIANT SCAM on the taxpayer.

Today is the big governer recall election in Wisconsin.  Scott Walker did his best to tame the criminal public sector unions.  Of course the lazy idiots in Wisconsin got mad because they've come to believe that they actually expect all that money & benefits for their easy-ass govt jobs.

Let's hope Scott Walker pulls through and all states start cracking down on these public sector unions that fund the scams like the firefighters we have here in St. Louis, 

RealTalker
RealTalker

The STLFD (St Louis FRAUD department) is the biggest, more destructive and disgusting scam in the city.  There is so much corruption with them along with public sector unions.   These guys are retiring in their 40s and collecting inflated pension benefits for the rest of their lives.

Of course, they scam the shit out of disability.  Did you know that 48% of retired firefighters are on disability.  Of course, only about 10%-15% are legit.  The rest claim disability because it allows them to make their pension benefits even HIGHER.  They're retiring in their 40s and 50s. collecting fat checks for the rest of their lives, and then working other jobs and making even more. Meanwhile the private sector suffers and other people can't even find jobs.

Let's not even get started on their "deferred compensation" scam, where upon retirement they get checks of several HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars.  There is no other department in the COUNTRY that does this, but somehow our firefighters think they're entitled to all this TAXPAYER money.

Remember, these guys spend 2 1/3 days per week at a firehouse and most of that is spent sitting around watching TV hanging with their buddies, surfing porn on the net etc.  And for that, they think they are entitled to retire in their 40's and 50's and cost on free TAXPAYER money for the rest of their lives.

Oh, I dare you to try and get a firefighter job in the city.  Unless your daddy knows people or you're well connected, you're not getting in. This is a well-protected little gravy train.

END THE FIREFIGHTER SCAMEND THE DEFFERED COMPENSATION SCAMEND PUBLIC SECTOR UNIONS NOW

Tgcsrt
Tgcsrt

real talker why dont you try using your mouth to talk and quit talking out your ass!!!!

worker
worker

 First off I never lived in the city prior to becoming a firefighter for the city.  I knew nobody that works for the city.  I still got the job.  Now lets get to the job itself, until you drag some line into a burning building that the floors have been damaged beyond repair why don't you just go "play in traffic and maybe just maybe if I'm not busy watching tv or surfing porn we may come out and save your sorry ass.

The Right at Night
The Right at Night

 OK then--please share your evidence with the rest of the class.  Shouldn't be hard now, right?

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

General

Loading...