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Of Angst and Skorts: Advice to Cape Girardeau Kids with New Dress Code

Categories: Blowback

brady
The Cape Girardeau Bunch.
High school just isn't high school without the asscracks. Kids in the Cape Girardeau public school district are grumbling this week about an excessive new dress code that will keep them looking like the cast of the Brady Bunch.

Students get to choose from the following: a collared shirt or turtleneck in any solid color, a school-oriented T-shirt, sweatshirt or hoodie or a solid-colored vest, sweater, sweatshirt or pullover with an approved shirt underneath; and pants, shorts, capris, skorts and jumpers in any solid color, or blue jeans (not too tight and not too baggy) or a solid-color dress with sleeves, a collar or a high-crew neck. Belts are mandatory for middle and high schoolers.

But don't angst-tweet yet, kids of Cape Gir'-- there are still plenty of ways to be rebellious teenage shits without instituting 'Slutty Wednesdays'.

ron swanson
Yes we can.
1. Viva la Gender Revolución!
Somewhere, all the kids are doing it.

Nothing will freak out the adults in your life like boys who pair their pink shirts with a nice skort and bangles. Ladies, androgyny has been in for years, so this should be an easy one for you. Take it to the next level with some drawn-on facial hair. Mutton chops are totally making a comeback.

As far as we can tell, Cape Girardeau's dress code doesn't mandate any differences between genders, but if they did the ACLU would be on their asses pretty quickly.


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