Gawker Shares Terrifying News: Mass Rabbit Slaughter in South City!

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Tell me about the rabbits, George.
Terror and silence reign in the Villanova neighborhood this week. Residents report that the rabbits, who usually hop merrily through the shrubbery, have been turning up dead.

The matter is of grave enough importance that it was featured on KTVI-TV (Channel 2) news and picked up by Gawker. (It's fair to say this is how many St. Louisans first heard of the mysterious rabbit deaths.)

So what is causing this horrible, horrible plague? And why does Gawker give a shit?

Could it be genuine concern for rabbits? Could it be morbid fascination with mass bunny extermination? Or just amusement at reporter George Sells' attempt to add some flair to the story: He begins the segment crouching in the bushes under the Villanova neighborhood sign.

Or could Gawker just fail to resist the opportunity to speculate about aliens among us?

Whatever the reason for the story's appearance on Gawker, here are the facts:

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tehmongering
tehmongering

Cute rabbits in Villanova are potentially being poisoned? OMG stop the presses! Cute animals are dying! What an outrage! We must put them on the endangered species list immediately to stop this! Won't someone please think of the children! In other news, the S. Arctic Ocean sea snail will likely go extinct this year. chirp...chirp...chirp

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