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Camel Suspected of Fornicating Llama to Death While En Route to Kirkwood Festival

Categories: Animals
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Good night, sweet prince
As always, the Greentree Festival in Kirkwood had fun stuff this year: a parade, arts and crafts, funnel cakes.

But the petting zoo was one llama short. That's because the animal was transported to the festival on Friday, September 14, in the same trailer as a camel, and the camel had sexed it to death while in transit.

Such was the rumor we heard last Friday, and so we immediately phoned Murray Pounds, Kirkwood's parks and recreation director, to ask: Is it true?

"That was the suspicion," he told us, "that there was an 'interaction.'"

Uh...what kind of interaction?

"Exactly what happened, I don't know," Pounds replied. "But we have our suspicions. The young juvenile camel was rather rambunctious. That's how it was described to me."

Pounds said he did not know the gender of the deceased llama.

(Daily RFT felt weird asking that question.)

(Daily RFT felt weird asking all of these questions.)

The outside contractor who put on the petting zoo, which is listed on search engines as S & S Farms with an address in High Ridge, did not reply to a voicemail we left on Friday. But we'll update this post when they do.

As for the camel in question, he apparently did make an appearance at the petting zoo, because an RFT staffer recalls petting him without knowledge of the dromedary's earlier antics. Just to be clear: We do not reward this behavior nor will we go anywhere near this camel again. 

He sounds like a real one-hump chump. 


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14 comments
TheOtherHepburn
TheOtherHepburn

@takokato @radishspirit That makes me as sad as I am entertained... Those peeps totally seemed suspect on the quality animal care front.

jealousblues1
jealousblues1 topcommenter

this never would have would have happened if he had his conceal and carrybetter to be judged by 12 than humped by something with two humps... 

Jason Brock
Jason Brock

Maybe there was a language barrier, Llama saying 'No, stop!' sounds like 'Yes, please' in camel? A divider would've been a wise investment.

Sarah Brock
Sarah Brock

Wow, anyway it goes male or female. Sounds like one hell of a way 2 go. Moving vehicle, hump hump pump pump. Makes u wonder if mayb it was asked for. Mayb llama was shaking that thang tantalizing that poor camel.

Purps
Purps

Strangely -- if you were previous to name the kind of lifeless, eventless, and colorless suburb of St. Louis that would also manage to orchestrate the gruesome death-buttfucking of a llama by a sadistic sex-manic camel -- you would have said Kirkwood. 

wandatheresa26
wandatheresa26

@willfru I love how first they say head uncomfortable asking what sex the llama was. And followed up with all the questions were awkward.

Aaron Deane
Aaron Deane

Camels need love too homie...Llama looks good when you got no fucking hands....Cant b8 wen you have hoofs #TrueStory

D-Zine Hair & Art Studio Inc.
D-Zine Hair & Art Studio Inc.

What idiot was allow to keep animals like this and not protect them????? There must be laws about transport. Shame on us for not protecting this creature.PERIOD

NP_DailyRFT
NP_DailyRFT

 @Purps As a Kirkwood native, I almost resent your comment, but mostly remain unruffled, because -- as a wise man once wrote -- "what can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence."  

jealousblues1
jealousblues1 topcommenter

 @NP_DailyRFT  @Purps i like Kirkwood as much as the next guy but all sorts of crazy stuff happens there from the pervert who worked at IMOs to Cookie who shot up the town hall to this...wasnt the guy who killed the woman while wearing that halloween mask in Kirkwood too? 

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