How To Get Your Hockey Fix

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You know, it's really tough being a hockey fan right now.

The league isn't playing games, has cancelled all the preseason, looks ready to lose another regular season, and just flat-out isn't smart enough to recognize that this is the exact same situation that nearly killed the National Hockey League less than a decade ago. Let's face it; the NHL barely made it back from the brink the last time they had a lockout. I don't think they can survive doing this again. 

So what's a hockey fan to do? You can't watch your favorite sport, which is depressing enough, but you're also faced with the prospect of said sport just disappearing into the ether for good, which is infinitely worse. It's enough to drive a man to drink, I tell you. 

Well don't worry, depressed hockey fan guy! Help -- and hope -- are on the way.

The Bikini Hockey League is here to save you from a lonely, shallow ditch and make your sporting life complete again. 


What's that, you say? You don't know what the Bikini Hockey League is? Well, then, are you in for a treat. The Bikini Hockey League is...um, well, pretty much exactly what it sounds like. See, bikinis are these little swimsuits that women wear. Very sexy. Hockey is that sport where people skate around with sticks. And a league is a loose collection of affiliated individuals or teams who compete against one another in a prearranged fashion. 

Ergo, the Bikini Hockey League, it stands to reason, is pretty much just like the NHL. Only with boobs. On a related note, have you ever noticed how much cooler pretty much anything in the world sounds if you add the qualifier, "Only with boobs"? 

Actually, calling it a 'league' at the moment is a bit of a stretch; the BHL is currently more of a start-up company with a reality show to pitch. The league will start off with just two teams, and there is a planned reality series to follow the progress of said teams. But, hey, you've got to start somewhere, right? The BHL will attempt to follow in the footsteps of the quite successful Lingerie Football League, which has gained quite a bit of recognition for itself since being founded three years ago, including having better referees than the NFL. (At least until recently.) 

For now, you can check out the BHL's official website (which includes photos of all the league's 'prospects'), as well as all of the standard social media likes and follows and stuff. 

Personally, I'm excited about this. Sure, it seems like a gimmick now, but if this thing takes off it could be huge for me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I already masturbate watching hockey as it is. But if this gets on television at least my friends wouldn't be quite as confused by it. 

Also, as a final note, I'm going to have to compliment the BHL on their musical selection for that promo video. The music in sports videos is decidedly hit-and-miss, with the emphasis generally being more on the 'miss' side of things. Given the choice between some sweet INXS and whatever that Written in the Stars thing was that MLB kept pushing in last year's postseason, I'll take the dead Aussie every day and twice on Sundays. 

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