Six Employment Options for Todd Akin

Categories: Lists, Politics

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Todd Akin knows his history!
4. Director of a pro-life group. Even when things appeared at their darkest for Todd, a few of his friends spoke out in his defense, namely Missouri Right for Life and Family Research Council. Even though Todd can no longer be of any political use to these groups, how can they possibly abandon him in his hour of need? And is there any more famous pro-lifer in all the land?

5. History teacher. Akin, as some of you may remember, has a fondness for American history and has spent many years refining his own personal interpretation of the principles this country stands for, most notably the history of Thanksgiving. As Akin himself told Congress in November 2011, "[The Pilgrims] came here with the idea that after trying socialism that it wasn't going to work. They realized that it was unbiblical, that it was a form of theft, so they pitched socialism out. They learned that in the early 1620's." That speech, incidentally, lasted 50 minutes, the exact length of a class period. What timing!

6. Communications Assistant, Office of Senator Claire McCaskill. This just in: Claire McCaskill is hiring! OK, it's a few days past the deadline, but we're sure HR will make an exception for Todd. After all, he has plenty of experience with campaigns and on Capitol Hill, and who could possibly have stronger ties to Missouri?

Pssst, Todd -- this could be a great entry into the world of corporate espionage!

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