Chris Carpenter's Five Best On-Field Obscenities

#1: April 2004-October 2012 -- Chris Carpenter vs. The World

Chris Carpenter was an immensely talented pitcher his whole career, and particularly his nine season with the Redbirds. But his talent isn't what made him great. What made him great was that lock-jawed, steely-eyed determination, the intensity of a gunfighter staring down the man that wronged him. Carp gave no quarter, took no prisoners, and occasionally threatened to rip off the head of whoever was in the batter's box and shit down their neck hole for daring to hang out over the plate.

In other words, Chris Carpenter is a bad fucking dude. And we're frankly still terrified of him. Or, as the following clip from an empty ballpark in Pittsburgh suggests, perhaps he just suffers from Tourette's? Either way, the Cardinals won't be the effin' same without him.

Click through one last time for a bonus Carp GIF...

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