Which St. Louisan Should Be the Next Pope?

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Stan, zombified.
1. Zombie Stan Musial If this is the way we have to have him, rotting flesh and all, well, so be it. Rising from the dead is not exactly a concept unknown to the Catholic Church. Throughout his life, Musial was a devout Catholic, a regular attender of Mass and, to all appearances, a faithful follower of the Golden Rule. Plus, the man was adored, not just in St. Louis, but throughout the baseball-loving portions of the world. As Pope, we imagine he would be just and fair and a hell of a long-ball hitter. He may lack a few ecclesiastical qualifications, but just remember -- the man was was a Cardinal!

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