Top Thirteen Skanky Prom Gowns: Definitely Not Mom-Approved (PHOTOS)

Categories: Fashion

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Back in the '90s, this happened at prom -- and we were PISSED.
Prom season is here! Magazines, websites and well-meaning-but-crazy family members have been preparing girls for this magical dance for years, ensuring that prom is second only to a wedding in terms of a young woman's self-worth. How exciting!

Such a grand occasion calls for just the right dress -- something classy yet memorable, unique but age appropriate. Unfortunately, the prom dress websites we've researched have terrible grammar and cater only to future escorts who have crackwhores for moms. Where are the pastel cupcake dresses from Footloose or the black taffeta number that both Brenda and Kelly wore on Beverly Hills 90210? But perhaps we're jaded and aren't seeing these gowns with clear eyes. Maybe we need a dose of reality from someone who's lived through two tantrum-prone girls clamoring to grow up too fast.

Enter our mother Marsha, a corn-fed Ohioan with good taste and solid Midwestern values. We showed Mom a few dresses and asked if we could wear them to prom. Boy, did she have opinions:

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13. Sherri Hill Short Dress 2900

Site description: "This Sexy Dress showcases a sweetheart neckline and an incredibly fitted corset with exposed boning. Intricate Stones on Bodice sparkle unbelievably! This Sherri Hill Dress 2900 is fabulous for a New Years Dress, Party Dress, or Social Occasion Dress. Complete this look with Fierce Bracelets, a Cocktail Ring, and Sexy Heels. $850." [All dress descriptions are directly from the website and have not been edited.]

Our take: It's a bit tiny, but we think it's got a little more potential than the next few dresses. Besides, shiny black film strips and colorful rhinestones suit our personality.

Mom's take: Dear God. [Dramatic pause] Allison, it looks hoochie. Look how far it goes up!

Are we allowed to wear it to prom? No.



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12. Jasz Couture Dress 4701

Site description: "Shopping for the perfect Little Black Dress? Look no further than this Jasz Couture Dress 4701. This Sexy Dress showcases an intricately beaded sweetheart neckline, fitted silhouette, and side midriff cutouts embellished with rhinestones. Accessorize this Dress with Rhinestone Earrings, a Statement Cuff, and Black Heels. This Black Dress is fantastic for a Homecoming Dress, Winter Formal Dress, or Social Occasion Dress. 2012 Jasz Couture Homecoming Dresses. $258."

Our take: "Sexy" means leaving a little to the imagination, right? That's exactly what this dress does, as the side straps show off our supple tanned flesh without being too revealing.

Mom's take: Maybe if it wasn't cut out on the sides. I don't think the back is that bad, though. They sure wear goofy stuff to prom now.

Are we allowed to wear it to prom? No.


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11. Short Form-Fitting Black Dress

Site description: "Short sheer black dress. $49."

Our take: This basic tank dress has a great shape. It looks a little like a wetsuit, and classy leather circles are hiding the boobs. Plus it's rated four out of five crowns and is only $49 on promgirl.com. Cheap!

Mom's take: That looks like Spanx! Cripes, it's even too tight for her, look at her hips! There are no redeeming qualities on this one.

Are we allowed to wear it to prom? No.

Continue for more skankalicious dresses.


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36 comments
JamesMadison
JamesMadison topcommenter

Only one byline, so "Our take" and "Mom's take" are from the same person, Allison. I think Freud devoted an entire chapter to your condition.

Jeanne Link
Jeanne Link

The worst - 1969 - big puff sleeves and a big tiered skirt and I was the one wearing it.

Emily Bahn
Emily Bahn

Yes, unfortunately they are. I sold prom gowns for 5 years. Sadly, I saw trashier than these.

Rudy Guadarrama III
Rudy Guadarrama III

#5 was worn at the Emmy's this past year, and most of these I've seen in the Club or an upscale party. Shouldn't be for teens.

Gina Marciano Mitauer
Gina Marciano Mitauer

They can market them all they want... Doesn't mean you have to buy.. Why would anyone care what someone else's kid is wearing.. If you don't agree, then you just don't let your kid wear it!! Just because people don't agree with something it doesn't give them a right to tell others that they shouldn't do it because they don't agree with it... That is called being a right wing conservative... This world would be a better place if people would just obey the 10 commandments and mind their own business!!!

Gina Marciano Mitauer
Gina Marciano Mitauer

Nothing you can do about what other kids wear, so if its not your daughter.. Then I wouldn't worry about it and mind and mind your own business....

Jesda Ulati
Jesda Ulati

Dont mind me. Just looking at skanky teens.

letsbehonest
letsbehonest

Honestly, this list should be distributed to every high-school girl in the country. YOU ARE 16 - 18, act like it.

Skin showing can be reserved for poorly lit frat parties in the fall

Gina Marciano Mitauer
Gina Marciano Mitauer

Those really aren't prom dresses... Those are evening gowns and cocktail dresses!

zante
zante

Most high schools would not allow a girl to wear a dress like this to prom.  Most have dress codes.

Steph
Steph

Maybe these dresses show off a lot of skin on girls who are 16, but referring to the dresses as skanky surely wouldn't make a self-conscious teen aged girl (who chooses to show off a little more skin than normal for one night) feel good about herself. This article is borderline slut shaming, which really isn't cool. Skin is skin. Skin is not sexual. And frankly,  unless someone's junk is out in public, they're covered enough. If you're a human being, wear what you love. I totally would have worn #12 and #3 to prom. Just saying. 

JamesMadison
JamesMadison topcommenter

The RFT is becoming a big joke. Once edgy. Once trendy. There really is not much of a difference between 63 year old ladies and the RTF editors/journalists.

Margaret Booker
Margaret Booker

Sp glad my niece McKenzie Booker has good taste and style! Her formal dress is lovely.

Tony Bologna
Tony Bologna

Joanna, what does wearing a slutty dress, thus only attracting asshole guys who only look for sex have anything to do with rape? Victim mentality much?

wolfoffl
wolfoffl

Oy, my eyes!
Any grown woman with any class whatsoever wouldnt be caught dead in one of those dresses.

rachaduncan
rachaduncan

She does realize that dresses just like these are on Seventeen's website in the prom section right?

Tony Bologna
Tony Bologna

Worn by the same girls that proclaim "oh my gawd all guys are the same why can't i find a nice guyyyyyyy"

JamesMadison
JamesMadison topcommenter

It is not right wing to tell people what they can do. It is being an authoritarian. Google "World's Smallest Political Quiz" for a better understanding of the political spectrum beyond left-right. There are plenty of left wingers trying to tell others what to do as well, usually in term of economic freedoms. But these days, many left wingers demand uni-think of political correctness. When we can allow our neighbors to live in freedom so they will allow us to do the same, we are truly free people.

JamesMadison
JamesMadison topcommenter

@letsbehonest , burkas required for all school dances, really? Would you insist teens never wear a bikini to the pool?

JamesMadison
JamesMadison topcommenter

Some parents do allow their children to make harmless mistakes. It is how young people learn to become adults. If you dress your child everyday until they turn 18, do you really expect they can pick out suitable clothes the day after their birthday? You have to allow children to learn to dress themselves. Sure counsel them on how others might see them, but approval or disapproval is not what a parent ought to do for someone so close to voting age.

rachaduncan
rachaduncan

@allison.babka @rachaduncan There is one within the list you gave me that looks just as short as some of these. I was speaking about the unique prom dress section. They have a ton of different sections on Seventeen to check out, and within those there are dresses just like these.


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