Sports Blogger Asks: Which is Worse -- Blackhawks or Ex-Girlfriend Porn Star?

Categories: Aaron Schafer
3. Sex With a (Future) Porn Star

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Sure, it looks like fun, but, um, I don't know how to finish that sentence.
The summer I turned nineteen, I dated a girl named Jill for about two, maybe two and a half months. Jill was from Indiana originally, but was staying with her uncle here in St. Louis while she went to school at Webster.

Fast forward three years, and Jill, with whom I have somewhat kept in touch, is now a former college student, having dropped out and moved to the West Coast. She is also employed in the adult film industry. And not as a sound editor or key grip, either. Well, maybe a key grip, but strictly in a euphemistic way, you know? I won't mention her stage name, largely because I'm fairly certain combining that with her real-life first name (which I am using), would allow someone to find out all sorts of things about the woman.

So why is this on my disappointing list? Because, honestly, I just don't know that she did anything sexually in our admittedly brief time together that would have made me think she was ready to turn pro. The sex was good, in a fairly prosaic way; relatively uninhibited, plenty often, even for a pair of college-aged kids. She did fart on me one time while we were doing it doggy style, but didn't do anything creepy like ask to be choked while wearing a Huckleberry Hound costume. Not that that's ever happened to me. In other words, we had a pretty good time together.

There was not, however, anything in that time that made me say to myself, "My god, this woman's vagina is a gift from the heavens, and I can only hope one day she will choose to share this beautiful miracle by starring in "Six Black Dicks for One White Chick 27"." (Subtitled This Time It's Personal, because why the hell not?)

I suppose this isn't really all that disappointing, in the end. It's really more about managing expectations. I feel like it should some be some crazy, wild story about this girl who blew through town and rocked my world before going on to have similarly crazy sex in front of a camera. It's not, though, and maybe there should be some moral to the story for everyone else out there.

Note: This applies only to sex with female adult film stars; it may very well work differently with guys who make pornographic films for a living. After all, the women seem chosen primarily based on looks; the men, on the other hand, are largely chosen on the basis of having dicks the size of spray paint cans and an ability to maintain erections while their partner is whispering how much he fucks like her dad, so there may be some real quality to be gleaned there.

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5 comments
kbyjohns
kbyjohns

I have no idea what I just read. Im disappointed in the blackhawks winning, life long blues fan, but im not sure i would compare it to any of these things. Or at least i wouldn't have yesterday. Todya, hey, maybe i would. Seirously, no idea what i just read. I think i like it though. Alot.

kbyjohns
kbyjohns

I have no idea what I just read. Im disappointed in the blackhawks winning, life long blues fan, but im not sure i would compare it to any of these things. Or at least i wouldn't have yesterday. Todya, hey, maybe i would. Seirously, no idea what i just read. I think i like it though. Alot.

Blakesly
Blakesly

hahahaha...how much he fucks like her dad totally killed me

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