Daily RFT Hits Bankrupt at The St. Louis Wheel of Fortune Auditions

Marty asked the audience, "Whose DREEEEEEEEEAM is it to be on Wheel of Fortune?" and the crowd erupted yet again. That's when he told us a secret. It didn't matter if we won the mini-games, he said; what really counted was our energy, our love for Wheel of Fortune and our uniqueness. Apparently, we could be the world's biggest puzzle dumbasses but still get called for the next round of auditions if we showed the team that we could adequately convey our Wheel rapture and gush to fake-Pat-Sajak about our weird hobbies.

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Marty tries to coax exciting conversation out of the contestants.

But most of the folks Marty and his fake-Vanna randomly drew from the Golden Drum of Dreams weren't terribly enthusiastic or interesting. Being an older crowd, these people only seemed to like Wheel of Fortune, their own grandkids, crafts and gambling. A few brave souls proudly let their freak flags fly, though, sharing their secret lives with Marty, their new BFF. Some contestant hobbies: ballroom dancing, video games, doll collecting, clubbing, soap opera cruises, Elvis memorabilia, quilt camp and Lifetime movies.

One lady proudly copped to reading the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy over 24 hours, saying "It was the best day ever" and giving the audience a knowing smile. Folks with side jobs as musicians were asked to play air guitar, air keyboard and air drums. Those who claimed dancing or singing ability were forced to demonstrate their talents.

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Vanna beckons you to a photo opp.
"You never know what's going to happen, but it's definitely the contestants' chance to shine," Strathearn says.

None of these people were us, though. Despite prepping our witty interview answers and rehearsing "Hit Me with Your Best Shot" in our head, Daily RFT soon realized that time was growing short and we likely wouldn't hear our name called from the Golden Drum of Dreams. And after watching about ten rounds of contestants win Wheel of Fortune duffel bags and blinky pens by guessing "rhyme time" and "living thing" puzzles (which, honestly, was the most boring part of this whole deal), our fear was confirmed: time was up.

So we did it again. Seriously, we did the line, the application, the ridiculous cheering -- everything -- a second time, and we still came up empty after spending more than three hours at the casino. We could hear the falling "bankrupt" whistle in our head as we exited the auditorium.

But there's hope, Marty assured us losers! The Wheel team would save a few next-round audition spots for people who had claimed interesting hobbies or facts on their applications. AHA! Being an RFT writer, a karaoke host, a game show enthusiast and a Brady Bunch fanatic may yet bring us fame and fortune!

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2 comments
trishatschopp
trishatschopp

Everything about this is entirely accurate. The only thing more infuriating than not being able to legitimately audition (thanks to the "randomized" process), is watching the people on stage not know what they are doing. I mean, everyone knows that the category "What are you doing?" always has a gerund, so guess an N or a G first. Not a B. Unfortunately, most people who would've known this (*cough* me *cough*) weren't called on stage, and the puzzle solving was painfully slow. 

allison.babka
allison.babka topcommenter

@trishatschopp It was kind of fun to mentally shout answers in person like you do at the TV at home! Did you sit through more than one audition show?

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