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Billboard on I-44 Asks Missourians to "Consider" Seceding with TX, OK, LA and MS

Categories: Politics

billboard_missouri_secession2.jpg
Courtesy of Sean Soendker Nicholson
If you want to lead a secession movement and form your own country, the first thing you need to do is buy a billboard.

That's what somebody has done on a stretch of Interstate 44 between Lebanon and Springfield. The billboard, which sports a hippy, tye-dye-like background, asks readers to "consider a contiguous 5-state secession" and lists Missouri, Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana and Mississippi as the lucky secessionist states.

Up until a week ago, the billboard had "MI" in place of "MS," which was a problem because Michigan is not contiguous with the other four states (check out a photo here). But Progress Missouri director Sean Soendker Nicholson tells Daily RFT it's now fixed, and the current incarnation is what you see here.

The billboard also asks: "What are the pros? What are the cons?" Good question.

Daily RFT reached out to DDI Media, the outdoor advertising company that owns the billboard. But an executive who was available for comment did not know who rented the space, and we're still waiting back to hear from somebody at DDI.

While we're waiting for answers, we decided to do what the billboard told us to. Here are all of the pros and cons of secession that we could dream up:

Pro: St. Louis will be known for having the best weather in the country.

Con: The country will have to be known as "TornadoHurricane-stan," and 75 percent of the country's GDP will have to go toward tornado and hurricane recovery.

Pro: Tea Party Republicans would become moderates.

Con: Because an even further, more extreme party would develop and advocate for mandatory guns and Bibles on every person (except for non-white people -- they'd only be allowed to have Bibles).

Pro: Cardinals will win a championship every year.

Con: Beating the Rangers and Astros every year will get old and cause Texans to want to secede. (Or is this a pro?)

Pro: Presidential elections won't last two years, cost billions of dollars or overtake the media with constant, mindless punditry.

Con: That would be mostly because Rick Perry will just use Texas oil money to win every election, always forget about which departments he will abolish even though they probably won't exist in HurricaneTornado-stan, and give the whole world the impression that Missourians are Texans.

Pro: New Orleans.

Con: The rest of Louisiana.

Pro: Beef would pretty much be free.

Con: Seafood caught in non-polluted waters will cost thousands of dollars a pound, omega-3 will be absent from our diets, our brains won't be as sharp, and frat boys in St. Louis will always forget that they need a passport to go to strip clubs in East St. Louis.

Pro: Making fun of Mississippi.

Con: Figuring out what to do with Mississippi.

Pro: With nearly equal numbers of blacks, whites and Hispanics, TornadoHurricane-stan would be one of the most racially diverse countries in the world.

Con: TornadoHurricane-stan would have the highest concentration of Ku Klux Klan members in the world.

Pro: There would no longer be a "gun debate."

Con: Everyone would be dead within eight years from gun shots.

Pro: It would be interesting to see what Arkansas does, as it would be surrounded by TornadoHurricane-stan.

Con: The Walton family will turn Arkansas into Walmart-stan and develop the world's largest military, invade TornadoHurricane-stan, conquer us and enslave us to work at Walmart.

Got some pros and cons of your own? Leave 'em in the comments.

Follow Ray Downs on Twitter at @RayDowns. E-mail the author at Ray.Downs@RiverfrontTimes.com.

My Voice Nation Help
57 comments
fuckfacemcgee
fuckfacemcgee

"TornadoHurricane-stan would have the highest concentration of Ku Klux Klan members in the world." What about the more rabidly-racist Black Panther party? Wait, that's not politically correct. It's only politically correct to point out white-racism. I WAS a subscribing member and a donor to this site, but no more. I'm getting sick and f---ing tired of everyone tying racism ONLY to whites, when blacks are the biggest racists in this country. It makes me sick of how disgusting and cowardly the article writer is. I'm in no way a racist, but I can't take it anymore how racism is ALWAYS pinned on whites. It's getting to the point where I might just move to Ireland.

rad465
rad465

Umm...isn't  Arkansas in the middle of that group? Not that I support this is any sense, but shouldn't they be on this list for it to actually be contiguous? 

smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

How un-American will the extremist GOP actually get?  They are no longer happy to just destroy the country and the economy, but now they want to splinter it as well.  It shows just what they really want, another Civil War.

Sj Braun
Sj Braun

...and the huckleberries too

Sj Braun
Sj Braun

we need to get rid of these rockabillies

Don Lanier
Don Lanier

This will go on just like the truckers strike, with a bout 30 far right wingnuts who cant believe we have a Black President named Obama....and believe that Alex Jones rumors of Fema Camps will become homes for Americans after the UN takes over when the Bank are closed by the Bildrebergers and the Rothschilds....blah blah blah...Ill bet the owner of this billboard lives in a doomsday bunker somewhere surrounded by his moonshiner Militia...

Jim Phillips
Jim Phillips

Exactly, well said. I need to move into Missouri!

Jim Phillips
Jim Phillips

Ol' Mincer doesn't know what he's talking about!

Tom Diveley
Tom Diveley

LOL Steve. Thats called being OWNED.

billj598
billj598 topcommenter

How come they left out AR ?  That's a "contiguous" State ? 

Tim Nelson
Tim Nelson

Let's make this happen, I'm all for it.

Shannon Cozart
Shannon Cozart

We just need to vote in some people with common sense. Unfortunately you have to be crazy to want to run for office these days. The state that are a burden on the rest of us is any stete thate runs a deficit. Blue or red.

Jeff Willett
Jeff Willett

So they corrected it? It said MI instead of MS the last time I saw it (yesterday).

Jerry Talken
Jerry Talken

Yes the sign is legal -- there is no law against being stupid!

Operafan71
Operafan71

Pro: The lowest rank any of them could get in any category would be 5th.

Con: 1st wouldn't be noteworthy.

Jeffrey Reddick
Jeffrey Reddick

Stupid f#*&ing as hats! Texas is full of steers and queers. Look at Rick Perry !

Nikki Olden Moungo
Nikki Olden Moungo

Doesn't this sound like the kid at the party whose pizza toppings weren't voted in, so he got mad, took his backpack & headed home in the middle of the night? "Waaaah! I hate you guys! I'm leaving!" Remember, this is a small number of turd brains. Nothing to worry about. Delusion at it's finest. I say let TX secede, good riddance. Two weeks later it will be Texico anyway!

wittry54
wittry54

So, this group is asking for a new country with a hole in the middle where Arkansas is?  I guess that makes sense.......

Jeremy J Whaley
Jeremy J Whaley

After being raised in St. Louis now living in the Seattle area I can tell you we wouldn't miss any of those states. So happy I left

Luke Valleroy
Luke Valleroy

Texas is full of steers and queers, haven't you heard? What dont you get about the UNITED States of America? UNITED. Make the rebel South look even dumber than they already do. Go ahead.

Tony Merklin
Tony Merklin

If it has Anything to do with Texx---Ass, the Answer is Hell No........

Steve Mincer
Steve Mincer

it's funny to see the comments by moonbat liberals that preach "understanding" and "tolerance", yet call anyone and everyone that has a different opinion "ignorant" and "stupid".

Steve Mincer
Steve Mincer

"With the exception of Texas the rest of them take more from the govt than they put in" liberals love to throw that fake statistic out there, but never...EVER...are able to back it up with facts.

Laura Dee
Laura Dee

Let "Missourah" go... St. Louis and KC will stay in reality.

Bambi Zj Baker
Bambi Zj Baker

No were the United states not secede when things dont work right

Tony Bologna
Tony Bologna

These wingnuts do not represent the rest if us normal folks. Please don't view the entire Midwest as such. Ugh

Bridget Kelly
Bridget Kelly

Just split the country. Put the rednecks in their own place, south seems good, put the rest of us somewhere else nice, and be done with listening to two party bullshit and do something productive for the people.

fuckfacemcgee
fuckfacemcgee

@smdrpepper Shows how unAmerican you are jumping on the lap of the illegitimate federal-mafia government's lap. What made this country great is the Bill of Rights, one right being the tenth amendment. The tenth amendment gives the states the right to secede from this VOLUNTARY UNION... but you're too f---ing stupid and ignorant to know that. You'r'e a nationalist. You LOVE big government, the antithesis of the principles this country was founded on. Lincoln, the arm-chair lawyer, started the civil war because the southern states were being unfairly taxed and had PROTECTIONIST TARIFFS shoved down there throats, tariffs that were only beneficial to the industrialized north. They tried to use their tenth amendment right and secede from the Union, and dictator Lincoln couldn't let that happen. You don't know your history. You were taught (like the good little tool you are) to believe the civil war was fought to end slavery, when the rest of the world ended slavery peacefully. The civil war was only about PROTECTIONIST TARIFFS, aka CRONY CAPITALISM (as opposed to free market capitalism, which actually works). You're a misinformed idiot. Democrat vs republican is a false dichotomy facade you subscribe to (like all other over-opinionated uneducated blowhards like yourself), so it's no wonder you're so ignorant of history. Remember, this is a VOLUNTARY UNION BETWEEN THE STATES and the TENTH AMENDMENT GIVES THE STATES THE RIGHT TO SECEDE WHEN THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT GETS OUT OF HAND, which they are doing right now. Are you against the constitution, or with it LIKE A REAL AMERICAN? Or let me guess, YOU THINK THE CONSTITUTION IS RACIST? Lincoln was also a racist. Read his memoirs about how he though blacks and whites could never live together in society and how he thought blacks could never assimilate into white society. You're a federalist idiot. PS: See how easy it is to use the race card nowadays because everyone has been so brainwashed to pay too much attention to racism?

scooby21
scooby21

@smdrpepper Excuse me if I'm not mistaken it was the Democratic party that seceded and started fighting the Republican Party Fought to end Slavery and the war.....


scooby21
scooby21

@Nathan Nico Vize How so? Freedom of Speech!!!

jhones
jhones

@wittry54 This is the same group that thought MI is Mississippi, not Michigan, so they likely aren't aware that Arkansas is right in the middle.

scooby21
scooby21

@Steve Mincer i like how the uninformed democrats think the republicans are racist when it was in fact their party that wanted  to keep slavery. and the Republican party fought against it..

scooby21
scooby21

@Bambi N Zj Rood-Baker Uhmmmm.....

smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

@fuckfacemcgee @smdrpepper Yeah, because ripping the country apart is such an American act.  Just because you want a return to the Civil War?  If anyone is an idiot, it would be you.

smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

@scooby21 @smdrpepper Seriously?  You actually think the GOP of today is the same as the Republicans from over 100 years ago?  Wow, you are so VERY deluded.

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