5 New Year's Resolutions for St. Louis

Categories: Holidays

Northfielder via flickr
OK, St. Louis. In 2014, let's be nicer to transplants and dogs, agreed?
Happy New Year! As we ring in 2014, let's all take a moment to reflect on how we can make it even better than 2013.

We have a few ideas for St. Louis' 2014 New Year's resolutions. Here are five of our favorites:

1. Get Jeff Mizanskey out of jail.

Kholood Eid
Jeff Mizanskey has served twenty years of a life sentence without possibility of parole for three non-violent marijuana-related offenses. If he had murdered or raped or stolen, he would be a free man by now. Mizanskey's family and supporters are asking Governor Jay Nixon for clemency, and even the epitomic voice of St. Louis Bill McClellan says he deserves to go free. Give this man his life (and his joint) back.

2. No more horrific animal abuse.

We can't stand it anymore. We're done with people who burn their dogs, drag them behind cars and otherwise abuse the shit out of them. We're really done with people who hoard dozens of animals at a time over and over. Mostly, we're sick of secretly crying over animal-abuse stories and hoping our coworkers don't notice. Just stop, St. Louis. Be nice to animals in 2014.

Continue reading for three more New Year's resolutions.

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