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All Eyes on Colorado: 4 Reasons St. Louis Is Jealous of Legal Weed (And 1 Reason We're Not)

Categories: Drugs

Prices aside, we are totally jealous of Colorado ending the marijuana prohibition, and here's why:

1. We want to be strain snobs.

legalweed3.jpg
eggroll on flickr
Oh, you smoke Sweet Tooth? How gauche. We only use Sour Diesel.
Grape Skunk. OG-funky Grunk. Shakedown. Sweet Tooth. Choosing a marijuana strain in Colorado is like discriminating among bean options at a fancy coffee shop. We wanted to make fun of Breathes for complaining that there are "only five strains" in the newly- pened marijuana dispensaries while we in St. Louis smoke the same ol' schwag, but we have to admit it's just sour grapes.

2. Dispensaries take the shame away.

legalweedbar.JPG
William Breathes
A legal weed bar.
Anyone who's had to put up with meeting a sketchy dude in his car just to buy an eighth knows how disgusting it sometimes feels to buy drugs on the black market. Breathes describes the dispensaries in Colorado as "clean, Apple Store-meets-Whole Foods," which sounds like the opposite of a back-alley deal. "Next to me," writes Breathes, "a really young-looking dude from New Jersey with his girlfriend said it looked like a miniature car wash for weed."

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William Breathes
Velvet Sea weed in the Westword's official press vape
3. Waiting hours for legal weed seems worth it for high quality.

Sure, Breathes and other Colorado weed customers had to wait hours to get their goods, but the quality of the newly legal offerings seems stellar. Now that the plants are legal, green thumbs are turning marijuana cultivation into an art form. "The buds of Sour Diesel I brought home were ripe and well-developed," Breathes wrote, "with a coating of amber trichomes across them and a smell that is probably still putting a smile on the face of those customers used to scraggle scraps from a third-hand middleman." We're still getting scraps here in the Lou.

4. We want to try the samples, like a Sam's Club for kush.

Our childhood memories are full of glorious trips to Sam's Club where we could eat all the samples of pizza pockets and meat sticks we wanted. Colorado has taken this to a whole new level, with disposable e-pens full of hash oil and an assortment of cookies and candies out for sampling.

Follow Lindsay Toler on Twitter at @StLouisLindsay. E-mail the author at Lindsay.Toler@RiverfrontTimes.com.


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34 comments
RevRayGreen
RevRayGreen

I moved here to Colorado for freedom from Iowa drug apes......yesterday brought a tear to my eyes.....

Couch Pig
Couch Pig

Might as well have the youngsters steal your weed instead of your booze and smokes and pills

JJ O'Brand
JJ O'Brand

Eric, I can't tell if that's an internet "win" or "fail" of the day... Kudos for that at the minimum...

Jason Taylor
Jason Taylor

Reason 6 million and some odd why Colorado is better than Missouri

Willie Ryan Salomon
Willie Ryan Salomon

Weed critics name is William breathes. Obvious Phish reference is obvious.

Amanda Conner
Amanda Conner

How stupid do we have to be..... FFS. You can go to the local corner gas station and behold, an iced down cooler display of pop and go single serve beers that are wrapped in brown bags for consumption on the fkn hwy..... Legalize it. Tylenol is more harmful than pot. This is a fact. People die from TYLENOL daily. It is IMPOSSIBLE from a medical and scientific standpoint to die from frkn pot unless you have lung cancer- which our lovely government wishes not to cure because it's a cash cow. I have a newfound interest in wanting to see The Rockies now.

Bob Horn
Bob Horn

I'm in Kansas state not far from there , still a road trip

Phil Janovick
Phil Janovick

Whats gonna be a RIOT is all these stoners that are gonna get stopped in their vehicles for the most minor of infractions...turn signal, light out.... etc !!! Evenif they haven't toked in a few days .....they are gonna come up positive for THC when the popo tests them..... I see a lot of disgruntled stoners in the future....... lmao

Richard Green
Richard Green

You'd think they'd be more careful, with all that thin air and whatnot.

Chuck Harris
Chuck Harris

Can't wait for the custom Monogrammed EBT cards. lol

Ronnie Gaston
Ronnie Gaston

Chuck its not Food Stamps any more. Don't want to give people who live off the taxes of others a complex you know. EBT cards have a cash side .....so yes they could I suppose. The drugs most used for recreation are in the form of Gov. supplied Pills!

Meg Mertz
Meg Mertz

Robert, I was once a 12 year old. I never took drugs, Guess you need to do your own part and teach her to NOT take them. You have a job to do as much as the school does. Peer pressure is a bitch, but some people know better. In the end it comes down to her knowing what is best for herself. Can't blame everyone in the end, know not to bow to peer pressure .

Meg Mertz
Meg Mertz

Perhaps Homeschooling would be what you need if you want to make sure your child never has any occurrences with anything bad. What is increased, it happened all the time in the 90's.

Jordan Hendrickson
Jordan Hendrickson

It's illegal to sell to minors. Wait, before, it was still illegal to sell to minors. Weed is not going to harm your daughter.

Jordan Hendrickson
Jordan Hendrickson

Kids have always smoked pot, before it was legal. Where have you been?

Chuck Harris
Chuck Harris

Drugs for recreational use about as stupid as BoCare. Can you buy it with Food Stamps? or with MediCare? or both.

Adam Usher
Adam Usher

Green aliens are moving there too.

Kelly O'Connor
Kelly O'Connor

I've never smoked marijuana and am still not intrigued; but from everything I read and reason through, so many parallels exist between this and Prohibition. It seriously makes sense to me on a sociological and economical level - and even along veins of criminology - to legalize marajuana. If predictors are true, various benefits will arise. If problems arise, what's the worst that could happen? "Legal" shops are closed, and the drug market goes right back to how it was before. How can you get too very bent out of shape over this... unless you're not doing your research to be informed.

Jeff Osser
Jeff Osser

I’d bet the farm that drug busts will skyrocket in Colorado as a result of legalization there, both for DWI’s, and sales to minors. I sadly think the first reports of teen/pot filled cars having horrendous accidents is just around the corner. Unfortunately I fear most the people buying/using the stuff will think more about it being legal/easy, and not about the responsibility and liability that goes along with it. Major learning curve ahead!

Jordan Hendrickson
Jordan Hendrickson

25 a gram is not high for great kush, it's going rate. Stop smoking dirty weed and step your game up.

Steve Dixon
Steve Dixon

Please cite a source, Robert. Don't just post speculation to help your misguided crusade. Do you drink alcohol?

Audrey Johnson Fleming
Audrey Johnson Fleming

Robert - drug deals have been in middle school for a long time. There were cocaine busts in the early 80's at my kids middle school.

Chris Ferguson
Chris Ferguson

Taxes on it are too damn high. The black market will still be around

Ronnie Gaston
Ronnie Gaston

No my daughter is older but you miss the point. These laws didn't protect her....that is your job!

Ronnie Gaston
Ronnie Gaston

Ya Robert "The War on Drugs" has been ahuge success. I'd say its been every bit as sucessful as outlawing alcohol was/lmao!

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