Winter Olympics: Five Absurd St. Louis "Sports" We'd Rather Watch Than Curling
2. St. Louis Biathlon
It's surprising just how boring the winter biathlon is to watch. Yes, it has guns, but the pace is plodding and slow.
A St. Louis biathalon would start with a bracing, polar plunge into Lake St. Louis. After finishing their laps, competitors would then locate the nearest fast-food joint and attempt five perfect Nerf gun assaults on the drive-through.
Jon Gitchoff The Idiotrod is already a ridiculous competition, but adding snow and Nerf guns elevate it to Olympic-caliber ridiculousness.
This event would stay faithful to its St. Louis roots, but with one Olympic twist: Teams would still build elaborately themed, ramshackle racing carts -- but the finish line would lie on the other end of an unplowed residential street covered in black ice.