Winter Olympics: Five Absurd St. Louis "Sports" We'd Rather Watch Than Curling

Categories: Lists, Sports

See also: The 10 Dumbest "Sports" of the Summer Olympics

2. St. Louis Biathlon

polarplunge2222.jpg
Jon Gitchoff

It's surprising just how boring the winter biathlon is to watch. Yes, it has guns, but the pace is plodding and slow.

A St. Louis biathalon would start with a bracing, polar plunge into Lake St. Louis. After finishing their laps, competitors would then locate the nearest fast-food joint and attempt five perfect Nerf gun assaults on the drive-through.

3.Winter Idiotarod

idiotarod.jpg
Jon Gitchoff
The Idiotrod is already a ridiculous competition, but adding snow and Nerf guns elevate it to Olympic-caliber ridiculousness.

This event would stay faithful to its St. Louis roots, but with one Olympic twist: Teams would still build elaborately themed, ramshackle racing carts -- but the finish line would lie on the other end of an unplowed residential street covered in black ice.

Style points awarded for competing naked, a la the World Naked Bike Ride. (We'd like to think Vladimir Putin would enjoy the naked Winter Idiotarod. We know he's a fan of partial nudity.)

My Voice Nation Help
16 comments
Brewneaux Welldone
Brewneaux Welldone

It becomes clearer by the day that the folks at RFT are in their own little world. Please stop trying to drag us into it, you guys are idiots.

Philip Rock
Philip Rock

this stupid article again? people didn't like it the first time you shared it

Ryan Paluczak
Ryan Paluczak

This article would be entertaining to anyone with the sophistication of a high school freshman, but it's not for me this time.

Steve Van Booven
Steve Van Booven

lol, I like curling, it's kind of like a cold weather washers/shuffleboard game. Other than the broom sweeping, I see nothing that strange about it. For sure more of a game of skill than a sport but that's why they are called the Olympic Games not the Olympic Sports...

Ria Halcomb
Ria Halcomb

Sorry, I like curling, luge and (hide my face) ice dancing (especially since the US team won gold)! so nix the frenzied shopping before a Missouri snow event.

Deb Woods
Deb Woods

"Like aggressive sweeping" - hilarious

Dustin Estes
Dustin Estes

Much like John Shuster, this article misses the mark. Curling is awesome.

Ejrin Hodzic
Ejrin Hodzic

So should naked bike riding. If they like being exposed so much why not put it on the World stage, not just Tower Grove park!

Philip Rock
Philip Rock

i love watching curling. it's like aggressive sweeping. i feel like this is trying to be hipster but i feel like true hipsters watch curling because it's too complicated and mainstream kids just don't understand it.

Stephen Freuler
Stephen Freuler

man thats funny, what other hipster articles can you guys pull out

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...