Winter Olympics: Five Absurd St. Louis "Sports" We'd Rather Watch Than Curling

Categories: Lists, Sports

See also: Six Insane Things That Happen When It Snows in St. Louis

4. Panic Shopping Combined

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Twitter
Seen here, one desperate St. Louis shopper apparently loses her mind and tries to become a loaf of bread.

Competitors are forced to endure 36-hours of hyperbolic local weather coverage before they are unleashed into a local Schnucks. Medals awarded for most bread and milk hoarded.

Style points awarded for throat-punching fellow shoppers for over a bag of whole-grain hamburger buns.

5. South City Vehicular Luge

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Flickr

Put Olympic athletes in American-made SUVs and let them compete in a true winter challenge: Competitors must speed up just as they turn onto any unplowed side street in south city, then stand on their brakes. The winner's determined by distance, although style points will be given for total number of side mirrors claimed.

Follow Danny Wicentowski on Twitter at @D_Towski. E-mail the author at Danny.Wicentowski@RiverfrontTimes.com

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16 comments
Brewneaux Welldone
Brewneaux Welldone

It becomes clearer by the day that the folks at RFT are in their own little world. Please stop trying to drag us into it, you guys are idiots.

Philip Rock
Philip Rock

this stupid article again? people didn't like it the first time you shared it

Ryan Paluczak
Ryan Paluczak

This article would be entertaining to anyone with the sophistication of a high school freshman, but it's not for me this time.

Steve Van Booven
Steve Van Booven

lol, I like curling, it's kind of like a cold weather washers/shuffleboard game. Other than the broom sweeping, I see nothing that strange about it. For sure more of a game of skill than a sport but that's why they are called the Olympic Games not the Olympic Sports...

Ria Halcomb
Ria Halcomb

Sorry, I like curling, luge and (hide my face) ice dancing (especially since the US team won gold)! so nix the frenzied shopping before a Missouri snow event.

Deb Woods
Deb Woods

"Like aggressive sweeping" - hilarious

Dustin Estes
Dustin Estes

Much like John Shuster, this article misses the mark. Curling is awesome.

Ejrin Hodzic
Ejrin Hodzic

So should naked bike riding. If they like being exposed so much why not put it on the World stage, not just Tower Grove park!

Philip Rock
Philip Rock

i love watching curling. it's like aggressive sweeping. i feel like this is trying to be hipster but i feel like true hipsters watch curling because it's too complicated and mainstream kids just don't understand it.

Stephen Freuler
Stephen Freuler

man thats funny, what other hipster articles can you guys pull out

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