A University of Missouri research study on "types of drunks" has been blowing up the Internet for the past few days, generating snarky dispatches in Time, New York Magazine, Jezebel, Huffington Post and a host of others, including international outlets. Basically, it's viral clickbait heaven.
|Can science explain these drunks?|
The study, according to researchers, used a version of the Myers-Briggs personality test to separate drunks into four categories. There's the "Ernest Hemingway," who appears barely affected by even heavy boozing; the Mary Poppins, who becomes more cheerful and helpful with every shot; the Nutty Professor, a quiet, introverted friend whose inhibitions disappear after a few daiquiris; and Mr. Hyde, the aggressive asshole whose intoxication usually ends with property damage and a stint in the county jail.
But we're calling shenanigans on this science stuff. Identifying drunks is a gut feeling, one derived from extensive field work. You have to take things like geography, sports fandom and socioeconomic status into account, not some egghead's psychological surveys.
What we need is an unscientific breakdown of St. Louis drunks, a study based on nothing more than subjective drinking experience and stereotypes. This is that study. More »