We Don't See Nothing Wrong with This Altered Construction Sign

Lindsay Toler
Your morning commute just got sexier.
Some St. Louis hero has transformed a construction sign on McCausland Avenue near I-64 from normal to downright funky.

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Jefferson County Man Seeks Place to Jerk Off, Posts Craigslist Ad

What was it Benjamin Franklin famously said about house guests? Oh, yeah, now we remember. They can really get in the way of your daily spank session.

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Weirdest Lost and Found Items on St. Louis Craigslist

Kati Peck | Flickr

Now that it's summer, it's super easy to misplace things while you're off having fun wearing awesome patriotic gear or watching your new favorite sport. People leave all kinds of items in weird places. A wallet here. A pair of sunglasses there. A light-up Iron Man mask with voice activation under there. You know, the usual.

But on Craigslist, nothing is "the usual." Resisting the urge to peek at the local Missed Connection postings, we took a spin through the Lost and Found section to see if we could help our dear readers locate the things they can't live without. We knew there would be many wayward cats and dogs listed (Get help finding your pet here!), but we were surprised to discover plenty of other weird stuff that St. Louisans misplace. Read on to find out if any of it's yours. (Note: all spelling, capitalization, wording and punctuation are exactly as they appear in the original ads.)

See also: The Craigslist Missed Connections of St. Louis Wizard World

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6 Reasons Why Springfield, Missouri, is Totally the Springfield from The Simpsons

Missouri is No. 1!
Matt Groening, creator of the quintessential cartoon family The Simpsons, has tried to settle the long-running debate over which U.S. state is home to the show's setting, a fictional town called Springfield.

Twenty-five years after the show debuted, Groening admitted he'd imagined the Simpsons' hometown in Oregon, near his hometown of Portland. But because Springfield is such a common name for a town, even Groening admits that the Simpsons could live just about anywhere.

(Springfield is also in "any state but yours," as Bart pointedly scribbles during the chalkboard gag in the opening credits of a 2012 episode.)

See also: Vatican Got it Wrong: The Simpsons Aren't Catholic, They're Presbylutheran

Luckily for Missouri, real estate blog and list generator Estately decided to take matters into its own hands, devising an eleven-point test to decide once and for all which state must call the Simpsons' Springfield its own.

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Comedian Kurt Braunohler Is Jet-Skiing From Chicago to St. Louis, Because Goats

Kurt Braunohler
Comedian Kurt Braunohler has made a career out of exposing audiences (and strangers) to the hilarity of the absurd. But with his upcoming webseries from Comedy Central, he's out to prove that absurdity can be a force for good.

His plan? Jet-ski from Chicago to New Orleans as a means of raising $50,000 to give 500 goats and 1,000 chickens to hungry families in Africa. Comedy Central will be filming his epic aquatic journey, and he's planning to stop by St. Louis on May 31.

"I've been obsessed with inserting stupid moments into strangers' lives to make the world a little bit better," says Braunohler, describing his oft-repeated philosophy on life. "But now we're racking it up a level."

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Forklift Flips BMW, Then Drops Dumpster On It

I spy with my little eye something that makes no sense.
It might take you a couple seconds to notice the weirdness in this grainy photo. Look for the upside-down silver sedan resting in the middle of Broadway and Convention Plaza, right in front of the Edward Jones Dome.

Note also the full dumpster curiously resting on the car's exposed undercarriage.

The photo elicited instant confusion on the St. Louis Reddit thread where it was first posted Friday. And though there was one particularly good guess, the real story behind this bizarre accident doesn't involve a garbage truck. It involves a forklift. And dumpster projection.

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Sex Positive St. Louis Bowls in the Buff at Saratoga Lanes (NSFW)

Danny Wicentowski
Bowling shoes? Check...
David Wraith raises his bare arms and waits for the dozen other naked people around him to quiet down. It's Friday night, and they've gathered in the second-floor bowling alley of Saratoga Lanes in Maplewood.

"Just a few announcements!" Wraith shouts, waving his hands for attention. He and fellow St. Louis sex blogger Kendra Holliday planned this outing for Sex Positive St. Louis. It's the organization's first ever "clothing optional" bowling party.

"Be care careful about bending over, people," Wraith begins. "Do what you need for the purposes of bowling, but if you drop something, please, for all our sakes, consider bending at the knees."

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Daily RFT Tests Out Circus Harmony's New Flying Trapeze Rig (Video)

The view from the top.
Give Matt Viverito a flying trapeze rig and 25 feet of air, and he'll make it look good. His moves look effortless as he releases into somersault after somersault. His fall becomes a weightless dance -- bouncing once off the net, throwing his limbs to the other side of his body, stabilizing in air -- before landing safely on his back.

But put an out-of-shape Daily RFT reporter in the same spot, and you'll get something infinitely less elegant and with 100 percent more hyperventilating and cursing.

Last week, Circus Harmony invited us to try out its brand-new Trapeze Center under the Union Station train shed, where the public can take trapeze lessons for the length of the summer. So after I strapped a Go-Pro camera to my chest and Viverito, the Trapeze Center's 23-year-old manager, tethered a safety harness on my waist, I ascended the 25-foot ladder to meet my high-flying fate.

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Wife Blogs Her Insane First Year Of Marriage, Loses Job, Attracts Hollywood Attention

The true meaning of "For better or for worse."
No one ever said marriage would be magical.

Wait, that's not right -- marriage is that promise, and whether it's reality TV or the British royal wedding, that focus on happily ever after is a towering edifice within our cultural landscape. So it's refreshing when two lovebirds come along and burn that tower to the ground.

"Alice," a St. Louis-born writer now living in Boston, took detailed notes on her first year of marriage and turned those notes into, a day-by-day account of shared indignities, many poop jokes, hellish periods and pranks gone wrong. Now, a Beverly Hills-based production company is wrapping up talks to option the blog as a sitcom.

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Pillow Fight! Celebrate St. Louis' Third International Pillow Fight Day This Weekend

Photos by Jon Gitchoff
Grab a pillow and start swinging!
When it comes to running a successful mass pillow fight, the key is coming up with creative challenges.

"Otherwise," Mallory Nezam, founder and director of STL Improv Anywhere, tells Daily RFT, "it would just be a bunch of people knocking each other with pillows." Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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