Rowrr!

​Did you see KMOV's report last night on Dick Fleming, the head of St. Louis' chamber of commerce, the Regional Chamber and Growth Association?

For sheer entertainment value, it was a doozy. Evidently, reporter Craig Cheatham has been trying to interview Fleming for months to discuss his salary. Fleming, meanwhile, has been successfully avoiding Cheatham.

Until, that is, the journalist recently tracked down Fleming in a hotel hallway. 

It's been a while since we here at Daily RFT have rolled out our Ass Clown of the Week feature. In this case we just couldn't resist, even though we can certainly empathize with Cheatham. It's damn frustrating when an official flat-out ignores questions from the media.

But what does the general public think? Take a look at the following video clip and then tell us who made the bigger ass out of themselves: Cheatham or Fleming?
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Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

​The Rams may be absent from the playoffs this year, but Coach Steve Spagnuolo is still a winner...of the highly-coveted Ass Clown of the Week!

Last week, you may recall, the coach fired longtime equipment manager Todd Hewitt. The competition wasn't even close: Spags took in 42 percent of the vote. The next closest contender, Chris Heuring, the man who pulled a shotgun on workers at a McDonalds drive-thru, came in at a distant 22 percent. Perhaps you readers took pity because Heuring did it all for the sake of his pregnant wife while the Rams offered no explanation whatsoever for the coach's behavior?

Town & Country alderman David Karney came in third with 19 percent for allegedly sending an e-mail to fellow alderman Fred Meyland-Smith suggesting Meyland-Smith be shot for supporting a bill to eradicate deer in the west county suburb.

The most controversial candidate, the pet ferret who gnawed seven fingers off a baby in the western Missouri town of Grain Valley, came in dead last with a mere 16 percent of the vote.

Way to go, Spags! How does it feel to be a winner?

​Once again, it's been a fruitful few days for Daily RFT's Ass Clown of the Week nominees. You know the rules. Vote for the local news maker who you think committed the dirtiest and/or most shameful deed of the past seven days.

And the nominees...

1. Chris Heuring: The Benton, Missouri, man was charged with drunk driving and unlawful use of a weapon this week after he pulled a shotgun on workers in a McDonald's drive-thru and demanded that they re-open the closed restaurant. Heuring told police his pregnant wife would kill him if he didn't bring home some food.

2. David Karney: The Town & Country alderman was censured this week for allegedly sending a threatening e-mail to a colleague. The email to alderman Fred Meyland-Smith, written under an alias, suggested Meyland-Smith "be shot" for supporting a bill to eradicate deer in the West County suburb.
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James Davis

​Despite lots of worthy candidates last week, one man pushed ahead to dominate the year's first Ass Clown competition.

James Davis, a 19-year-old accused of repeatedly raping a 4-year-old girl and giving her gonorrhea and chlamydia, captured more than 50 percent of all ballots cast.

Coming in a distant second with 14 percent of the vote were the Ferhatovic clan, the brothers and father accused of looting from homes of tornado victims. Last week's biggest newsmaker, Dustin Ries, the St. Louis police officer caught on film beating a suspect, surprisingly captured just over 12 percent of the vote.

Then there was my favorite candidate in Ronald Partee. The former executive with Goodwill won just less than 12 percent of the vote after he pleaded guilty last week to embezzling $1 million from the charity and using the money -- among other things -- to buy a Porsche and fake his way through law school. 

​Oh, my. Where to begin? 2011 is just seven-days-old and we're having trouble narrowing down the field for this week's Ass Clown. Must've been something in that $6.99 bottle of Asti Spumante on New Year's Eve that has everyone acting the fool. 

Here, then, are the candidates who bubbled their way to the top.

1. Ronald Partee: The former executive for Goodwill pleaded guilty this week of "parteeing" on the charity's dime. Partee confessed to embezzling $1 million from Goodwill and using the money to buy himself a Porsche and have the charity reimburse him for law school -- which he never attended despite throwing himself a party when he told colleagues that he'd earned his degree.

2. Dustin Ries: The St. Louis police officer was caught on film beating the living crap out of a drunk suspect on New Year's Eve. Ries, 37, has been accused on two other occasions of using excessive force during arrests.
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There she is...Miss Ass Clown.

​It's official. Tessa Vanvlerah, the suburban St. Louis mother charged with child pornography, incest and statutory rape and sodomy for crimes involving her 13-month-old daughter has won Daily RFT's Ass Clown of the Year.

Vanvlerah beat out a panel of eight other nominees to capture nearly 40 percent of the total vote. In March of last year, Vanvlerah, 20 of Ballwin, was accused of arranging for a man to fly from California to St. Louis to sexually abuse her infant daughter. Vanvlerah is scheduled for a plea hearing in St. Louis County Court next month.

Coming in second place for Ass Clown of the Year was state senator Matt Bartle who captured 26 percent of the vote for introducing and gaining passage of a law that prohibits nudity at Missouri strip clubs.

Read about all the contestants -- and see how they fared -- here.

​It was a bountiful year in St. Louis with lots of stupid criminals, dozens of dirty rotten scoundrels and plenty of pompous politicians who delivered us scores of candidates for our Ass Clown of the Week competition.

But now it's time to crown an official winner. You know, Ass Clown of the YEAR! So, without further ado, the nominees of 2010:
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stoufferforcongress.com

This week's winner: Bill Stouffer

​The votes are in and Missouri State Senator Bill Stouffer has defeated a conniving drug dealer, a disgruntled john and a discriminatory pension to become this week's Ass Clown.

The Republican politician from Napton won 35 percent of the Ass Clown vote after filing a bill last week to repeal a state law -- passed barely a month ago by a majority of Missourians -- that places tough new sanctions on puppy mills.

Coming in second place with 26 percent of the vote was the state pension (the Missouri Department of Transportation and Highway Patrol Employees' Retirement System) which was sued last week for denying aid to the longtime gay partner of a state trooper killed last year in the line of duty.

See all last week's Ass Clown candidates here and view their results. Thanks for playing and back at you Friday with a new round of contestants. 

​Sharpen your pencils! It's time to vote for this week's Ass Clown. You know the rules: Vote for the local yokel and/or organization who you believe brought the most shame to their name this week.

And the candidates...

1. Ryan McNames: The Columbia, Missouri, teen was arrested for soliciting prostitutes when he called the police to complain that two women had just ripped him off. He paid $60 for one of the women to expose her breasts and the other to perform oral sex on him. He never received the latter and wanted a $40 refund.
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In clowns we trust -- God help us.

​Congressman John Shimkus has won his second election of the month.

On November 2 voters in southwestern Illinois elected the Republican from Collinsville to his seventh term in Congress.  And, over the weekend, Daily RFT voted Shimkus their Ass Clown of the Week.

Shimkus earned the victory for statements made last week while defending his stance on global warming, which he sees as little more than a minor inconvenience.
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