No matter the issue, Missouri has always been labeled as a state of two distinct camps: Yankee vs. Confederate, urban vs. rural, Blue state vs. Red, Calvin pissing on a Ford logo/Calvin pissing on a Chevy logo and — most divisive of all — "Missouri" vs. "Missourah."
In reality, though, the Show-Me State is much more nuanced than these polarizing issues suggest. Missouri is comprised of nine distinct states, each with their individual quirks and hangups that remain bonded together in uneasy harmony because, like mentally imbalanced siblings, they're kin. Dammit. (Also, no neighboring states would want them.)
So here it it is, a scientific breakdown of the true Missouris (or is it Missourahs?) based on geography, culture, politics, demographics and a healthy sprinkling of stereotyping.More »