Fake Cop Busted for Pulling Over "Irritating" Drivers

Categories: Crime, Missourah

Photo courtesy of Flickr/robotpolisher
A southwest Missouri man was busted last week for failing to resist an urge common to most drivers: He pulled over other motorists simply because he found their actions on the road "irritating."

Jacob Trammell, twenty, was charged in Greene County for false impersonation of a law-enforcement officer and using a siren/blue lamp without a valid permit, court records show. The Springfield News-Leader reports that Trammell confessed to having the blue and reds installed atop his vehicle six months ago.

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Missouri Has the Most "Problem Puppy Mills" in the U.S., Humane Society Says

Categories: Animals, Missourah

Courtesy of the Humane Society of the U.S.
This photo from a 2011 USDA inspection shows puppies in an overcrowded cage at Country Pets in Montgomery City, Missouri.
A Maltese that apparently froze to death, while other puppies shivered in the cold. Shih tzus that were so emaciated, their shoulders, ribs, hips and spines jutted out prominently. A cage holding multiple dogs where feces covered 85 percent of the floor space.

These are among the local lowlights from a new report by the Humane Society of the United States -- a report that finds, despite the 2010 ballot proposition that was supposed to clean up Missouri's puppy mill problem, the state still leads the nation in the number of "problem" dog breeders.

Of the 100 worst breeders identified by the Humane Society in its "Horrible Hundred 2015" report, 23 were based in Missouri. That's significantly higher than the next-worst state, Kansas, with its 16, and Nebraska, which had 14.

Eight of Missouri's problem breeders were identified as repeat offenders. And some of the details, listed in federal and state inspections and compiled by the Humane Society, are appalling.

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Missouri Smokers Lose $1.7 Million in Health-Care Costs, Lost Wages: Study

Categories: Missourah, News

modi via flickr
Smoking: It'll cost ya!
Missouri may have some of the lowest cigarette prices in the country, but a new study says the hidden costs of smoking take a million dollars out of Missourians' wallets.

Personal finance website WalletHub calculated how much money smokers lose on health-care costs, income loss and increases in homeowner's insurance costs. The study even analyzes how much money smokers would earn if they invested in stock instead of dropping buckets on cigs.

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10 Things That Happen When Non-Missourians Write "The Top 13 Small Cities in Missouri"

Categories: Missourah

ben_rea via Flickr
St. Louis, and especially St. Louis' county suburbs, have been taking a beating in the press since the August 9 killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson. When the national media do manage get St. Louis' complicated geography straight, it's often to tell stories about violence, crime, failing infrastructure and racism.

So the list "Top Thirteen Small Cities in Missouri" from City Described caught our eye this week when it painted a glowing, rhapsodic portrait of this Midwest metropolis that would fill us with pride for our city -- if it weren't full of lies.

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The Nine Distinct States That Make Up Missouri

Categories: Missourah

Kevin Cannon
No matter the issue, Missouri has always been labeled as a state of two distinct camps: Yankee vs. Confederate, urban vs. rural, Blue state vs. Red, Calvin pissing on a Ford logo/Calvin pissing on a Chevy logo and — most divisive of all — "Missouri" vs. "Missourah."

In reality, though, the Show-Me State is much more nuanced than these polarizing issues suggest. Missouri is comprised of nine distinct states, each with their individual quirks and hangups that remain bonded together in uneasy harmony because, like mentally imbalanced siblings, they're kin. Dammit. (Also, no neighboring states would want them.)

So here it it is, a scientific breakdown of the true Missouris (or is it Missourahs?) based on geography, culture, politics, demographics and a healthy sprinkling of stereotyping.

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CNBC: Missouri Is the 3rd Worst State to Live In

Categories: Missourah

Paul Sableman on Flickr
Illinois, you may want to stay on this side of the river.
Only Tennessee and Oklahoma are worse states than Missouri to live in, according to a ranking from CNBC.

The new ranking puts Missouri toward the top of a list of "quality of life laggards" struggling with high crime rates, few local attractions, poor healthcare and the environment.

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Missouri Rep. Wants to Criminalize Finding Out Where Your Diseased Meat Came From

Thomas Bjørkan/Wikimedia
It's none of your business.
A bill has been proposed to the Missouri legislature that would make it illegal for anyone to obtain federal records about diseased cows, pigs, and other animals from all farms and factory meat producers in the state.

According to HB 2094, which was introduced by Rep. Jay Houghton, a Republican from Martinsburg, Freedom of Information Act or Missouri Sunshine requests pertaining to animal health or environmental protection data collected by state agencies under the federal Animal Traceability Program (ATP) would be legally denied.

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Drama Dads: Brawl Breaks Out at Kindergarten School Play

Categories: Missourah

wikimedia/Sander van der Wel
No swords were involved in the actual fight. This is just a "dramatic" reenactment...get it?
It was a long time coming.

At a kindergarten school performance Tuesday night in Cape Girardeau, Kevin Alexander saw fellow Cape Girardeau dad Ryan Steck yank his stepdaughter out of his hand. He didn't appreciate that too much, so he said so.

After a few nasty words were exchanged -- and the children surrounding the two dads likely wondering if they should join in a chorus of "Ooooohhhhhh!" -- Steck allegedly backhanded Alexander and spit on his face, according to the Southeast Missourian.

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Searching for a Job? Better Move to Wentzville

Categories: Missourah

Downtown Wentzville.
Sorry, St. Louis, but if you need a job, you're better off in St. Charles County or a western suburb.

NerdWallet published a list of the best Missouri cities for job hunters this week, and the numbers are clear: Go west, young man. (Or woman.)

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You're Saying It Wrong: 20 Missouri Cities No One Knows How to Pronounce

Categories: Lists, Missourah

Can you pronounce this?
Missouri. Missuruh. Mizurah. Standard pronunciation is hard to come by in the Show-Me State.

But that's nothing compared to cities and towns in Missouri that use faux French, hick or just plain made-up pronunciations.

If you've ever been laughed at by someone for referring to Nevada, Versailles or Spokane, Missouri, using the pronunciations from their homographic sister cities, this list is for you:

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