San Francisco Giants' Hunter Pence Didn't Know Kansas City Is in Missouri

Categories: Sports

Andy Rusch via Flickr
Hunter Pence is a little confused about where he is.
Hunter Pence is not in Kansas anymore.

The outfielder for the San Francisco Giants says he didn't realize the Kansas City Royals were based in Missouri until he saw a Royals fan's sign that read: "Hunter Spence thinks he's in Kansas."

"We're not?" Pence thought to himself, he tells Yahoo Sports.

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Why St. Louis Superman Isn't Coming to Any More Cardinals NLCS Games

Categories: Sports

St. Louis Superman via Facebook
It's a bird! It's, wait, it really is a bird. And Superman.
Superman has had it.

Charlee Soffer, otherwise known as the St. Louis Superman, says security blockades around Busch Stadium are making it near impossible for him to work during the games by entertaining fans outside the stadium and earning tips. He says he earned a record low on Saturday, the first day of the NLCS.

"Sorry, St. Louis Cardinals, you're on your own against (San Francisco)," Soffer says on his Facebook page. "Fingers crossed you fellas make it to the series. I wouldn't miss that for the world, regardless of how much income I lose."

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Missouri Pee-Wee Football Team's "Ugly Kardashian" Is Internet Sensation

Categories: Sports

MaxPreps on YouTube
The quarterback (center yellow) is about to get all "Ugly Kardashian" on the opposing team.
We're not sure if this is the most brilliant trick play ever, but it is the most brilliantly named trick play ever.

In a recent game in Jefferson City, mid-Missouri's Lewis and Clark Middle School unveiled the "Ugly Kardashian" in which, based on the video below, the quarterback apparently snaps the ball while appearing distracted by an imaginary paparazzi. The QB then casually walks past the defensive line while pointing skyward at something (Kim? Kourtney? Khloe?) before breaking into a mad dash for the end zone. Evidently the play works very well against nose guards (like the poor kid in the image above who remains crouched in position awaiting the snap).

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I-70 Series: 5 Reasons We Can't Wait for a St. Louis Cardinals, K.C. Royals World Series

Categories: Sports

A Kansas City Royals shirt and a St. Louis tattoo? Ben Smith is ready for the I-70 series.
Not since Game 6 of the 2011 World Series have we watched a baseball game that made us go crazy, folks, go crazy like the Kansas City Royals wild-card game Tuesday night.

Stealing bases? Badass. The Royals swiped seven last night. Extra innings? You bet. The Royals had to come from behind in the ninth to tie the game and come back again in the twelfth to best the Athletics. PLEASE STOP WE CAN'T EVEN DEAL ANYMORE.

So with only a pinch of the smugness that comes with eleven World Series wins, Cardinals fans have to admit: The Royals have earned their way into the playoffs with gusto.

Buckle up, ya'll. It's October, and the Royals are bringing it.

Here are five reasons we're looking forward to a Show-Me State smackdown:

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Mattress Source Promises Full Refunds if St. Louis Cardinals Win World Series

Categories: Bidness, Sports

bedzine via flickr
Mattress Source will refund your purchase if -- when? -- the Cardinals win the 2014 World Series.
Need a new mattress? Think the St. Louis Cardinals could win the World Series? A local mattress chain has got a deal for you.

Mattress Source, based in Imperial, Missouri, is offering full refunds on anything bought in its nine Missouri and Illinois stores from now through September 28 if (when?) the Redbirds bring home the national title.

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The Best (and Worst) High School Mascots in Missouri

Categories: Sports

georgebovard via Flickr
We're not sure what this mascot is supposed to be. A kidney? A jellybean?
We've had enough with the prototypical St. Louis question, "Where'd you go to high school?" After looking at the Missouri State High School Activities Association's list of every school mascot in the state, we think a much more entertaining question would be, "What was your high school mascot?"

Missouri has some doozies. Best-known are the Kewpies, the Hickman High School mascot named after a bald baby doll. There are the Joel E. Barber Middle School Buckskins, apparently named after clothing, and the West Plains High School Zizzers, named after nothing at all.

We looked through our list of favorite names and decided that they deserve some recognition. Drum roll please, as we announce the inaugural Riverfront Times Best Mascot Name Awards:

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How St. Louis Rams Rookie Ethan Westbrooks' Face Tattoo Helped Him Get to the NFL

Categories: Sports

Hjelle on Flickr
Somewhere on that field is a rookie with a face tatt.
Before he was that St. Louis Rams player who beat out Michael Sam for one of the last spots on the 53-man roster, Ethan Westbrooks was that Rams player with the motivational face tattoo.

The tattoo on his left cheek reads, "Laugh now, Cry later," with a picture of a happy face and a sad face.

So why get a face tattoo (if you're not boasting about how many people you killed in prison)? Westbrooks says he wanted a constant reminder, something he could see in the mirror, to push himself to achieve his goal: playing football professionally.

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Michael Sam Cut from St. Louis Rams Roster, Practice Squad

Categories: Sports

Michael Sam.
If Michael Sam is going to be the first out gay player to play in the NFL, it probably won't be with the St. Louis Rams.

Coach Jeff Fisher called Sam last weekend and met with him Sunday to tell him he's one of four players cut from the Rams' 53-player roster.

"It was a football decision just like it was a football decision back in May to draft Mike," Fisher tells Yahoo Sports. "It's been all about football. I was pulling for Mike; I really was. I don't say that very often."

Immediately after being cut from the roster, Sam had two options: sign to the Rams practice squad or join another team, either as a waiver pick or a free agent. But by the time the Rams filled the practice squad Sunday night, it was clear none of the ten players would be Sam.

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Why It's OK, and So Not OK, for ESPN to Report on Michael Sam Taking Showers

Categories: Sports

ESPN's Josina Anderson talks about when Michael Sam showers.
Michael Sam showers. He is also gay. In the world of professional football, this is news.

At least, it's not news until some Rams defensive player anonymously admits to ESPN that he keeps tabs on his gay teammate's nudity and says that Sam delays his showers so none of his teammates think he's trying to have sex with them.

"Another Rams defensive player told me that, quote, 'Sam is respecting our space,' and that from his perspective, he seems to think Michael Sam is kind of waiting to take a shower as not to make his teammates feel uncomfortable," ESPN reporter Josina Anderson answers when asked about how Sam is fitting in on the team (and not how Sam is fitting in in the showers).

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Allen Craig Selling St. Louis Home After Trade to Boston (PHOTOS)

Categories: Sports

Images via
Who wants to buy Allen Craig's home?
As Allen Craig settles into life with the Boston Red Sox, he is selling the home where he and his family lived while he played for the St. Louis Cardinals for just under $800,000.

His 4,881-square-foot Chesterfield home may not be as fancy as the 10,800-square-foot mansion retired Cardinals pitcher Chris Carpenter put on the market in May, but hey, not everybody gets $63.5 million contract offers.

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