St. Louis News Blog

"The Adventures of Aaron Proctor in St. Louis"

proctorformayor.com

Author: Aaron Proctor

About the blogger: "I'm former Pasadena (California) human-relations commissioner, Aaron Proctor. On May 7th, 2007, I lost my job. At 25 years old, I had no other option but to move in with my parents while I re-establish myself. So, I'm re-establishing myself: thousands of miles away in St. Louis, Missouri."

Recent Highlight (June 26): Stupid Things on TV Here and New Slang I Learned

It's my 12th day here in the "Heartland" ...or as I'm calling it "Aaron Proctor's Heartland Exile: Day 12." Now I've witnessed some pretty dumb (or let's just use a synonym: "Midwestern") things in my 12 days here. People pronouncing the state "Missoura." More churches per square mile than Jerusalem. An anti-abortion television ad just about every commercial break. Bud Light is considered a fancy libation. Or a person drawing a blank stare anytime I use a word with more than two syllables (and then have the intestinal fortitude to try and explain something to me!)

This little St. Louis "gem" takes the cake, though: http://www.beckyscarpetandtile.com/

Becky's Carpet and Tile. Go meet Becky. She flies around on a carpet. She has been around for many years, had modest success with her business, and still can't afford a decent commercial. She also, apparently, hasn't been around a mirror in those same amount of years. Maybe some type of mixture of everyone in St. Louis, Becky's Carpet and Tile reeks and screams of Midwestern pseudo-affability. Move over Crazy Eddie, Jack Steffan, and Adee Do — there's a new crown jewel in television cheese.

I've also learned some slang while I've been here. The term "Hoosier." I normally thought of the term Hoosier as the way to describe either a person from Indiana or a fan of Indiana University's sports program. However, I've learned the term is kinda similar to the older California insult/term, "Okie." If you're not familiar with the slang term "Okie," it's an insult used by Californians during the days of Route 66 to describe the borderline retarded (or let's just use a synonym: "Southern") people who now make up the "great" cities of Bakersfield, Fresno, and Fontana. The term was derived from the mass exodus of people from Oklahoma to California who were tired of the dust bowl but also were afraid of reading books. At least one of those two things have carried on in their lineages.

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"The Onymous"

www.theonymous.com

Author: The Onymous

About the blogger: The Onymous loves his wife and his daughter, is pretty tolerant of the cats and uses the word "awesome" way too much. He also recently underwent a vasectomy.

Recent Highlights (April 7) give it to me i throw it away

Post op report number one: 24 hours

The procedure was quick. It was very hot in the room from all the lights. I hopped up on the table, which is basically the same table that they use for OB/GYN visits. The only pain was the shots (one for each side), I didn't feel the cutting or the cauterizing. When I left my legs were a little sore from the muscles being tense the whole time (I'm the same way at the dentist, it's purely psychological). I was slightly lightheaded and nauseous, but that could have been from hunger as much as anything as I'd had both a light breakfast and a light lunch.

The afternoon and evening of the operation I slept most of the time. I got up for dinner and to watch Boo while Mae took her shower.

Pain? Very little. There's some tenderness of course, and there is an occasional sharp pain when I move too quickly or try to do something I shouldn't (or more precisely when my 3 year old tries to climb on me). I took Motrin for the first 18 hours, but nothing since.

It's a bit surprising how much you use your groin muscles for without being aware of it. It's almost harder to transition to sitting from standing than vice versa.

Athletic supporters feel very very strange if you aren't used to wearing them.

(April 8): My balls feel like a pair of maracas

In which we experience the after effects of a vasectomy.

Athletic supporters were not designed to be worn 24/7. At this point the discomfort from the supporter is more of an issue than the discomfort from the procedure. There is a mild ache in the general region of the surgery intermittently. There is constant irritation where all of the straps of the supporter are creating pressure.

Someone asked if it hurt to urinate. It does not. It's a little tricky in terms of the dressing, but it doesn't hurt at all and didn't at any point post procedure.

That is all for now. I will update again tomorrow after a dressing change.

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