E. coli: Shit looks frightening even when it's a stuffed toy.

​Looking for someone to blame for the E. coli scares at the Lake of the Ozarks?

Look no further than the Grandview Condominiums. Today Missouri Attorney General Chris Koster announced that he's filed a temporary restraining order as part of a lawsuit filed against Grandview and its president Michael Petrovich. 

When the Missouri Department of Natural Resources officials inspected the condo's wastewater treatment, they discovered "significant amounts of [sewer] sludge and other visible solids" polluting the lake.

Then again, this is the same department that withheld information about the E. coli levels in the first place, so we're just going to wait and see how this plays out.

At least six Missouri beaches have already been closed due to E. coli, which is appearing at 19 times the state standard in some locations.

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Faculty Gone Wild!!!

​Educators educate. Less often do they eff sh$t up on the dance floor. Even less often do they dance so badly that it shifts the paradigm of what's possible in mammalian motion.

In this YouTube video, some of the moves performed by the faculty at Ladue Horton Watkins High School are old standards. The worm, for example. Others seemingly have never been attempted before.

In terms of Ladues and Ladon'ts, [La]do watch this video, but [La]don't try to mimic these people because someone might get hurt.

A student produced the clip, and by the time it was e-mailed to Daily RFT, it had gotten over 3,000 hits, and KTVI was already on top of it.

​Normally, I'm in favour of pretty much anything that puts nudity front and center in the world. People just wear too damned many clothes, in my ever so humble opinion. I'm an ardent supporter of the Lingerie Bowl, and as any longtime reader of the Rundown should know, I consistently and thoroughly cover any and all incidents of athletes showing off more than they really should. More >>

Paramount Pictures

If you get this gig, this could be you, free and happy and on the loose in the airport. Except you probably won't look like Clooney.

​Unreal loves to think of ourself as a cheap bastard. The concept of Groupons makes our heart sing. A company offers a gift certificate at a discounted price, say, $25 worth of sushi for $10, and if enough people join in, the deal is on.

This morning, however, our heart burst into the Hallalujah Chorus: Groupon is offering one lucky individual the opportunity to live off Groupons for an entire year!

True, the deal is contingent upon that individual giving up everything -- job, home, bank account, credit cards, pets, cherished possessions, even clothes (they'll give you a suit made of Groupons to get started) -- to wander our fair nation financed only by an unlimited number of Groupons. It's like being a postmodernist hobo!

If you do this and you succeed, they will get $100,000. In cash, not in Groupons.

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Oh, sure, kilt guys always LOOK fun. But just wait. It's going to get ugly.

​As part of my continuing mission to bring you the best and most complete coverage of sports-related male nudity the world over, I, um, I, uh...you know what? That is probably the absolute worst mission statement in the history of anything. I really, really need to rethink that. I feel like I've wasted my life, man. More >>

​Hot on the, er, heels of Greg Oden admitting he is indeed the man depicted in recently published nude photos, Choire Sicha of Deadspin and The Awl has his complete rundown of more athlete dick pics than you can shake a stick at. (So to speak.) More >>

​I'm ordinarily not a huge fan of selling naming rights. Selling the rights to the name of a stadium is how we end up with things like Qualcomm Stadium and 3Com Park at Candlestick Point and Great American Ballpark. Of course, that last one sounds okay until you realize Great American is the name of an insurance company and not a description of the stadium itself. More >>

In keeping with the holiday spirit (that's the holiday spirit, not the Holliday spirit, which involves protracted negotiations and ridiculous midnight Twitter visits), I would like to bring you another dose of yuletide cheer. More >>

Chad Ochocinco is my new favourite football player. I never used to be a fan of his, disliking the showboating and all the other stuff that goes along with it, but it turns out I was wrong. I turns out, in fact, that I couldn't possibly have been any wronger if I had tried. More >>

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Screw Zhu Zhu Pets. Unreal wants this decoration for Christmas!

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