Throwback of the House: The Sacrificial Bunny
|Todd Ehlers, Wikimedia Commons|
I haven't given my five-year-old nearly enough exposure to death, especially in relation to major holidays. It's not just me, though. Parents have grown soft over the past 60 years. Martha Stewart, Paula Deen, all the other mavens of modern homemaking: They probably aren't devising ways to turn food items into baby animals filled with carnage.
Well, Martha might, but at least she's tasteful enough to know it's rude to serve a desert that spews innards.
No such coddling from those rat bastards at the Culinary Arts Institute, the same jackasses who brought us Dublin Pineapple Salad, Pickle Cheese Soup, and Nippy Cheese Freeze Salad. In its 1950 book, 500 Delicious Salad Recipes, the institute continues its rampage against the American palate -- and destroys the souls of Christian children -- with Bunny Salads.
Mix cottage cheese with mayo and crushed almonds, stuff it into the cavity of a canned pear and then flip it onto the bed of gelatin "grass". Jab slivered almonds into the pear to make bunny ears. Gouge in the red eyes with some paprika on a toothpick.
This is as good a time as any to let them know that there is no Easter Bunny.