The Dive Bomber: Going Down Screaming

divebomber.jpg
After the crazy number of comments from the last time I visited Screamer's, I had to stop by once more before they close.

When I took a seat at the bar, JoBell -- the bar wench who busted me taking photos of the building last time and rightfully told me I was weird -- took a good long look at my face, laughed and announced, "Hey! It's Robin from the RFT!"

Instantly, I had a beer in one hand, and that guy named Grandma shaking my other. Grandma called his fiancée, Grandpa, to come meet me. Tow Truck, Billy Bob, Meg and her boyfriend, John, who met at the bar a year ago, were there, too.


dive0730091.JPG
Robin Wheeler
The One-Legged Dancing Jackoff
I also met One-Legged Dancing Jackoff, a female mannequin with three-quarters of a leg, a doll's head, pig snout nipples and gray pubes peeking out from her lacy black underpants. Grandma found her beside a dumpster and brought her to the bar to be a companion for the one-legged character in their pinball machine. She was kidnapped in February, recently returned to the side door, blindfolded and with electrical tape over her mouth.

Such were the tales I heard all night while the beers magically appeared before me. I can't even begin to remember all of them, but I'll always remember the story of Mr. Schaeffer.

He started coming to the bar when he was in his 80s, lonesome after his wife's death. The Screamer's crew took him to his last Cardinals game for his 85th birthday, played poker with him, made sure he got home safely at night, and when he went into a nursing home, they visited him regularly until he passed at the age of 89.

Some bars are just bars -- places to anonymously get lit. Others are sanctuaries filled with more love and compassion than I ever imagined.

On its final night, I intend to honor Screamer's by getting on that penny-covered bar and shaking my ass, just as long as someone plays "Fat Bottom Girls" on the jukebox and Tow Truck gives me a boost. It's the least I can do for this great little community that made an interloper like me feel like a queen.

Robin Wheeler writes the blog Poppy Mom. She also has a strange attraction to drinking establishments with jars of pickled -- or possibly fossilized -- eggs. She reports on these dives for Gut Check every Thursday.

After the jump, more photos of Screamer's from Robin.

Like this Story?

Sign up for the Dining Newsletter: The week's top local food news and events, plus interviews with chefs and restaurant owners, dining tips, and a peek at our print review.

Privacy Policy
Sign up for free stuff, news info & more!

Tools

Browse Voice Nation
  • Voice Places

    Voice Places

    Discover restaurants, nightlife, travel, shopping...

  • VOICE Daily Deals

    VOICE Daily Deals

    Get 50 to 90% off every day on restaurants, movies, massages...

  • Best Of

    Best Of...

    More than 10,000 of the BEST things to eat, drink, and experience

  • My Voice Nation

    My Voice Nation

    Join the Village Voice community and get exclusive deals and info

  • Happy Hour

    Happy Hour

    Your local Happy Hour guide at your fingertips

or

Log in or Sign up

Social Connect:

Use your favorite account to access My Voice Nation.


Use your My Voice Nation account to log in:





Forgot password?
or

Sign Up or Log in

Social Connect:

Sign up for My Voice Nation with your preferred network.


Sign up for a My Voice Nation account:



Privacy policy