Throwback of the House: Sea Pie Guarantees You'll Die Alone

By Robin Wheeler Tue., Aug. 11 2009 at 12:02 PM

Categories: In the Kitchen, Throwback of the House

Todd Ehlers, Wikimedia Commons

There's nothing wrong with being alone, according to The Solo Chef, published in 1981 by Conran's. What the hell does a corporation that billed itself as "America's busiest home furnishing store" know about being alone?

They knew that "...no matter how many benefits arise from solitary living, eating well is rarely one of them." Because solo simpletons tend to think cooking for one is "more difficult than finding a worthwhile restaurant you can afford and feel comfortable in by yourself."

So keep it at home, you loner outcast.

Robin Wheeler

Sea Pie can be your friend. Start with a cup and a half of leftover mashed potatoes. In my lonely days, there was no such thing as leftover mashed potatoes because they're a fine substitute for love and companionship. Make some shitty instant potatoes for this dish. Spread three-quarters cup of them into an 8" pan. Mix a full can of tuna and its oil with an egg and three tablespoons of sour cream and then plop it onto the potatoes.

Robin Wheeler

Top with another three-quarters cup of mashed potatoes. So what if one-half cup is the recommended serving size of mashed potatoes? Who's here to stop you? Dot with butter and bake.