Five Fast-Food Items I Would Eat Right Now

User "Tournesol," Wikimedia Commons

​As I write in this week's review of El Pollo Loco, fast food is rarely a subject (or target, if you like) of my restaurant criticism. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, however, I ate the hell out of some fast food, and I'd be lying if I said there weren't certain dishes I would eat right now if you put them in front of me, without any concern for my health, the food's sustainability, etc., etc. In this week's edition of List Mania!, I present five of those dishes, in no particular order.

Tellingly, perhaps, Burger King, where my younger self did the most fast-food damage, is absent from this list.

User "Glane23," Wikimedia Commons

​The Sausage Egg McMuffin, McDonald's

I don't know what spices McDonald's puts in its sausage patty -- hell, I don't even know if it's actual pork in there -- but it might as well be cocaine because no matter how many times I see the remains of the Sausage Egg McMuffin I just wolfed down, the greased-soaked paper with a splooge of half-melted American cheese still stuck to it, I want another.

By the way, to forestall the inevitable carping: Yes, I'm fully aware that's not a Sausage Egg McMuffin pictured above. Couldn't find a fair-use photo of a Sausage Egg McMuffin. You know why? Because if you had a Sausage Egg McMuffin in front of you, you wouldn't stop to take a damn picture.