Fight Club Sandwich: Doritos "Tacos at Midnight" Tortilla Chips vs. Doritos "Last Call Jalapeño Poppers" Tortilla Chips

Every now and then comes a time when a sensible human being must stop whatever he or she is doing and ask, in a voice as polite but also as insistent as possible, "What the fuck?"

​Dear readers, I present the latest offerings from the mad flavor scientists at Frito-Lay: Doritos "Late Night" tortilla chips. I assume they are called "Late Night" because the two flavors now available, "Tacos at Midnight" and "Last Call Jalapeño Popper," are meant to evoke late-night, post-booze (or other Doritos-friendly mild substance abuse) cravings.

How do they stack up? Grab a 12-pack of Natty Light or fire up the bong and follow me after the jump...

​Doritos Late Night Tacos at Midnight

Meant to Evoke: A run for the border.©

Actually Evoke: Remember that time you got wasted and wanted Doritos but didn't have any in the house, so you broke apart some stale Old El Paso taco shells and then sprinkled them with store-brand taco seasoning from a supermarket that had gone out of business, like, three years ago?

Arbitrary Success Rate: 23.2%

Tacos at Midnight provide none of the joys of the Fourth Meal: cheesy, melty, greasy and...uh...laxative? The flavor of the seasoning is undeniably American-style taco, which hints that if topped with ground beef and melted cheese, this might make a somewhat decent ersatz nacho. Then again, if you possess the wherewithal to consider -- let alone procure the supplies for and then prepare -- making nachos out of these, then you're probably not the target market.