Throwback of the House: The Taboo of Polynesian Green Beans

When I was a kid, my dad often drank soda and iced tea from a big avocado-green tiki mug. That thing scared the hell out of me. I'd seen those Hawaii episodes of The Brady Bunch enough times during after-school reruns to know that idols = increased odds of getting whacked on the head with a surfboard or taken hostage in a cave by Vincent Price.

I was afraid of a lot of things back then. Like the Hamm's Beer cartoon bear mascot.

I'm not quite as paranoid as I used to be, thanks to outgrowing my childhood gullibility and partaking in a lot of cognitive-behavioral therapy. And yet I got a chill when I saw a recipe for Polynesian Green Beans in 1970's Green Giant's Vegetable Cook Book.

The Green Giant? Don't even get me started on him. I'm still terrified of giants and large statues because of that asshole.

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