The Novice Foodie's Tour of Misfit Kitchen Tools

Categories: Novice Foodie
As part of my quest towards foodiedom, I'm trying to create a kitchen full of useful, dependable tools that will help me create good food at home. Tools like I mentioned in my holiday gift guide for novice foodies: multitaskers that will last forever if cared for properly.

However, in my pre-foodie life I collected a motley crew of kitchen inhabitants that don't fit this description and still haunt my kitchen. Take, for example, my standing mixer. Most foodies I know have this beauty:

User "cmh," Wikimedia Commons
The Novice Foodie can only admire it from afar, because I'm rocking my grandma's hand-me-down, 70's-era, comes-with-a-crate-full-of-attachments food processor. Think I'm kidding?

Kelli Best-Oliver
Bam. Standing mixer.

Kelli Best-Oliver

Kelli Best-Oliver
"Food processor."

Kelli Best-Oliver
Meat grinder/food mill/possibly pasta maker? The rust scares me.

Kelli Best-Oliver
Wow. It feels like an episode of Hoarders. While this beast of a machine actually does just fine kneading bread dough or mixing cake batter, it fails at "whipping" anything, and somehow, among dozens of attachments, there is no paddle, either. Maybe it got lost somewhere between 1972 and now. None of the various modes work really well. In any event, I'm stuck with it until it totally grinds its motor into obscurity and I can justify spending the money for a KitchenAid.

Welcome to my kitchen of misfit tools.

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