Throwback of the House: A Crown Fit For a Corn King
It's gotten so bad that we now need television ads to be reminded of the wonder of your versatility.
Mix, then place in a round casserole dish. Melt another tablespoon of corn-based butter-like product, add another cup of white bread crumbs and then toast. Spread on top of the royal corn mixture. Bake for 30 minutes.
While His Majesty bubbles in the oven, slice one pound of hot dogs (made from a variety of corn-fed animals, of course) in half. Remove casserole and place the franks, cut end down, around the perimeter of the casserole dish. Bake another ten minutes until the phalluses make a sparking, slightly charred crown.
Or not. The corn mixture doesn't have enough liquid to make a creamy corn pudding, nor does it have enough egg to give it the loft of a corn soufflé. It's gloppy corn and white bread. The hot dogs are, well, hot dogs. Turns out a diet of corn doesn't make beef, pork and various poultry products taste compatible with a bowl full of bland corniness.
My husband said that the tips of the hot dogs remind him of the Goatse guy, which doesn't make the dish any more appealing.
The king is dead. Long live the king.
Robin Wheeler writes the blog Poppy Mom and is a regular contributor to Gut Check. After years of making and eating fancy food, Robin is sick of it all. She's returning to the basics: recipes that haven't surfaced in three decades. She reports on the results every Monday.