13 New Names (Besides Corn Sugar) for High Fructose Corn Syrup [Updated]

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As Robin reported in today's Morning Brew, Gut Check's dear friends at the Corn Refiners Association is trying to gain permission to market high fructose corn syrup as "corn sugar."

The cynic inside us doesn't begrudge the Corn Refiners Association this attempt at damage control, but we feel compelled to point out that, quite frankly, the name corn sugar sucks. We invite members of the association -- and you! -- to follow us after the jump for our suggestions.

Update: (Tuesday, 9.21, 10:30 a.m.) Marion Nestle, writing for the food blog of The Atlantic, reports that the FDA already recognizes "Corn Sugar." Corn Refiners Association: You need our list now more than ever!

1) A-maize-ing Syrup
2) Cob-Boom!
3) Corn Dew
4) Dr. Gut Check's Machine-Sweetened Corn Squeezin's, a Natural Tonic
5) Ear Syrup
6) Everlasting Cobstopper
7) Fructopia
8) Iowan Blood
9) Kernal Klink's Sugar Drink
10) NECTAR*
11) Schuckin' A
12) Soda Oil
13) Type II Dia-best-es

* - New Energy Corn-Treated Artificial Repast-enhancer
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