comes word that students at the University of Massachusetts, henceforth to be known by its NCAA tournament-bracket shorthand UMass because otherwise I'd surely type Massachusetts incorrectly at some point in this post, on Monday assembled a 422-foot-long California roll
. This obliterated the previous record of 330 feet, held by the University of California at Berkeley.
UMass paper The Daily Collegian dishes the details:
The volunteers crammed together, often grazing elbows as they laid 650 sheets of nori seaweed, covered in 200 pounds of rice and sesame seeds, and filled with 200 pounds of Alaskan surimi- imitation crab- 100 pounds of cucumber, and 100 pounds of avocado.
In true collegiate style, the roll then got wasted.
No, really. Because the rice had been sitting out for five hours, all 422 feet of California roll were thrown out.
Remember when thoughtful college students used to protest such shameful, consumerist waste?
Here's video of the stunt/debacle: