The Red Velvet Cupcake Cappuccino, or Would You Like Some Coffee with That Sugar?
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| Ian Froeb |
| When you look into the red-velvet-cupcake-cappuccino abyss, the red-velvet-cupcake-cappuccino abyss looks back into you. |
First, the color. Oh, God, the color. I guess it's supposed to be "red," as in red velvet, but of course this mixes with the brown of the "cappuccino" to create a color I'll call "partially healed scab."*
As to the flavor, well, I'm sure you're shocked to learn that it tastes nothing like a cappuccino or even anything remotely espresso- or coffee-based. It doesn't taste like cake, either, red-velvet or otherwise. What it does taste like is liquefied frosting, possibly with an extra dose of sugar of the Pixy Stix variety.
It's basically irrelevant whether this drink -- I refuse to call it a cappuccino any longer, even with the quotation marks -- even has coffee in it. By the time you crash, the sugar high will have lasted as long as a caffeine high.
* - Crayola! Call me!
































